6.7.09

WONDERMENT


I have done my best to try and unwind this weekend. I think I have done OK at it.

Despite having a lot of work to do at the casa de Fountain and a mountain of work to get through at the office I concentrated on doing a whole lot of nothing this weekend.

I was only partially successful but I think it was enough. I will have to make up for some of the stuff I did not do this weekend during the week but that is OK. I will get the main bath fixed this week for sure. I may take a look at some other projects after that.

I still have a sense of wonderment about this assignment to Okinawa and the 31st MEU.

I’m not sure how to express that other than “Don’t Know.”

I have found myself leaning forward during sitting practice. I realize I am doing this not through feeling but through reason. When I lean forward I’ve noted that I begin to daydream about future possibilities. So when I recognize this I sway side-to-side and forward and back until I am upright again, but I have also noticed that I am doing this much more than usual these last few days.

9 comments:

Mike Cross said...

Hi Jordan,

How do you know you are "upright again?"

For me, one of the points of swaying side to side is to remind myself that I have no true means of knowing where upright is -- I know when I am way over to the left or right, but the closer I get to the middle, the less sure I am about where the middle is.

All the best,

Mike

Carol said...

Seems to me you're pondering with all that swaying. Trying to sort things out; maybe winnowing out the chaf.

molly said...

"Don't Know." That is a good place to come from.

Jordan said...

Mike,

I guess I don't really "Know."

This is not so much an exercise for me in trying to be "right" as it is just questioning "What is happening?"
But at the risk of exposing my obsessiveness, I will tell you that I have tried observing my sitting with a mirror (this did not work for me, the action of looking at the mirror spoiled the experiment) and a video camera.

By way of the Video camera I could observe that when I had a sitting where I found myself contemplating some unknown future I was almost always leaning noticeably forward, and when I found myself contemplating past events I was leaning slightly backwards. I did not observe myself leaning particularly left r right at any time though. I do not know why that is. Maybe years of close order drill? I would be interested in learning if other sitters had similar experiences. But so few people are willing to talk about what is going on in their sitting.

Thanks for the question and the best regards!

Jordan

Mom,
Yes! Too much pondering on the chaff!
Love,
Jordan


Molly,
I don't know!

Lauren said...

MEU - Mechanized Engineering Unit??

I once ended up in a hotel with a nice arrangement of mirrors in the bathroom area that let me look straight forward and see me from the side. I found what I thought was straight backed, was actually forcing a sway back. When I relaxed that, I felt like I was leaning back. But the true tell was that in the relaxed feels-like-leaning-back place I could feel my weight straight down on my "sit bone."

I think the sternum should be slightly angled up like a satellite dish.

Jordan said...

Lauren,
MEU- Marine Expeditionary Unit.

Word of warning, "Feelings" can be notoriously unreliable. Just ask any amputee who still can "feel" their missing limb.
Observation and analysis, while imperfect, tend to give more honest data.

MyoChi said...

I often have a lot of difficulty trying not to d anything. I think that is my challenge for this birth.

Jordan said...

MyoChi,
Is it even possible to not do anything?

It may be the challenge of being born!

PayPal online casino said...

And variants are possible still?

Thanks for looking!