HAPPY BIRTHDAY U.S.M.C.

 

As I write this I’m getting ready for the Marine Corps birthday ball.  The Battalion is celebrating tonight, although the actual Birth date is 10 November 1775.  My old Dress Blues are set up in their splendor.  On a hanger suspended from a hook on the back of my office door. Not a lot of medals for 18 years, a sign of a pretty easy career.   Not that I had that in mind when I signed up.  It just worked out that way despite my own efforts to get into the fight even early on when we were only fighting “Small” wars.  

 

This is my last Ball with this unit.

 

Eighteen days from now I’ll be checked out and awaiting a trip to Okinawa, which is a total unknown for me.  This will be my 8th permanent change of station in 18 years.  I guess I should be used to moving around. 

 

But it is a little different this time.  I let myself get attached to this place.  Kind of odd I guess.  Since it is here where I developed my Zen practice the most, a practice that eschews attachments.  

 

Very human.  Another thing I am not accustom to.  Is that demon dead?  Or just buried?

When is the last time I felt genuinely angry?  Or at least held on to my anger and resentment?  

 

Quiet now.  Everyone is off deck to get their dates, and change over into their best.

My wife isn’t coming.  She went to the first one with this unit.  I suppose that was enough for her.  Not much fun if you feel excluded.  When I mentioned it this morning I think I saw a hint of regret at not going though.  Maybe she’ll go to the next one with the next unit.  But why speculate?  I think she’s been adrift from the Marine Corps family for a while.  

 

Enough of my blathering, time to get dressed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CONTENTMENT

 

There is a line from the Pali Cannon, repeated else ware if I recall, that goes something like "Contentment is the Highest Joy."

 

I guess my current perspective on it doesn't quite match that.  Or maybe I'm discontent with contentment.  Having been in and out of boundless joy for a fewyears now I have always thought that what I was going in and out of was melancholy or mild depression.  As a youth I was often susceptible to those kinds of experience so I figured it was just a continuation of that theme.  

 

This time, well a little bit ago actually, I decided that instead of try and get back to that joy joy place I just accepted and kind of explored the experience.  Of course this was with the usual bit of a tint of that "Why?" and "What's this?" lingering in my brain housing unit.  I suppose the cliché that I rediscovered was that nothing was lacking.   You read and understand when people say everything is "Complete" and want to get there, but when you do you might be disappointed.

 

That said I think I should clarify that there is by no means a sense that everything is just fine as it is and there is still a sense that some things are inadequate.  For example while traveling I went to a hotel without adequate sound baffles (the sound baffles are common to the hotel chain I frequent, that's why I frequent it.) and from the floor above me it sounded as if there were a group of elephants doing wind sprints.   Or the "Japanese Style Steak" I ordered in South Bend Indiana which turned out to be an American style steak chopped into one inch cubes.  

 

Contentment also does not appear to be conducive to writing for me at this time.  

Largely I think that everything I am writing about here has been written about by someone else, likely with better grammar and punctuation.

 

On the other hand contentment, the way I see it, seems to be conductive for equanimity, poise, self control, calmness, composure, or whatever else you may want to call it.  This comes at a good time for me as I have a lot of big rocks to chip away at.  Moving, Doctors appointments, selling the house, applying for homeowners assistance, on top of the everyday, plus trying to close out business at work for a smooth turnover.  

 

There are some other things I not sure if I can quite express clearly right now, mostly introspective stuff in how I deal/don't deal with relationships. Kind of has to do with saying what people need to hear rather than blathering on about my own analysis and conclusions.  I guess in a way it feels a little dishonest when I don't go straight for the end that I want to gain and instead work in increments.

 

Anyhow that's enough for a lunch break email update.  

FLOWING

Sometimes I have brief periods of time where things, for lack of a better expression, are just as they are. Of course in writing this that period of time might be over, and maybe a bit of melancholy settles in.

The chest puffs up, the neck gets tight, I am sure that I am "right."

Then the words of that old ancestor Dogen are remembered.

Soft and flexible mind.

And I reflect on my condition and say, this is not it!

DO PEOPLE HAVE A DOGGIE NATURE?

Yesterday afternoon the Marines were released early for the Columbus day weekend.

When I arrived home the wife and I not so quickly got the kids ready to go out shopping in order to get it done with for the weekend so we could spend those full days working on maintaining the house and lawn and whatnot.

So we stopped at a fast food point for a snack, made the journey over the bridge, went to the Japanese market, Trader Joe's, and because the time did not so good for trying to face traffic heading back north, we made a stop off at church. All in all it took a good half of a day from us leaving the house to getting back.

When we arrived home, There was a gift waiting for us. It had a distinct oder to it. It was certainly unexpected. The dog had pooped on the floor. conveniently on top of a cleaning rag that he had found somewhere. My first instinct was to check the back door, it was open and he could have gone out to poo if he needed too. Next I looked at the poo, to see if the dog might be sick. You can tell a lot about health by observing your poo you know. But the poo appeared to be healthy.

Finally I realized what the problem was. The dog knows, that if he poops on the floor that this is not acceptable behavior. He knows it is stinky. He knows it is messy. he knows it is a bit rude. he knows that people may be shocked to see poop on their living room floor. he also knows that this will get him attention. And negative attention is better than no attention at all.

Now I know not everyone has a dog. But a lot of us still have to deal with dog poop. This dog poop has numerous miraculous forms. It may be a problem Marine, or a seemingly angry spouse, or a vulgar Buddhist blogger. But all of these things often have the same root cause. They have experienced a lack of attention. And therefore are expressing their dissatisfaction by shitting on your living room floor. My prescription is to put the poop in the toilet and flush it away, or better burry it in the yard and work it into your garden, and then give some loving attention to the source of the poop whatever that might be.

Stepping out of the saturday morning bubble of pretentiousness, and getting back to work,

Jordan

GREAT HEART OF WISDOM

GREAT HEART OF WISDOM

 

Another e-mail post please excuse the formatting.

On that note, if anyone would like to volunteer to be an unpaid editor of this blog, the position is open…

 

In the Shobogenzo Bendowa there is a line that some people latch on to that goes something like: We no longer need to read or recite Sutras, make prostrations, light incense.  There is a lot of this kind of sentiment that arose out of my father's generation of western Buddhists.  There is even a story in a book I recently read (Zen Ritual) that talks of a couple of westerners (of my fathers age) visiting a Zen temple and were shocked when their ideas of iconoclastic monks of spitting or pissing on Buddhist statues, using them as firewood,etcetera were totally smashed when following the abbot around while making his rounds making prostrations and chanting and lighting incense.  They angrily confronted him and said something to the effect of "I thought Zen masters spit on Buddha statues, not venerate them by making bows, lighting incense and chanting."  To which the Zen Master replied "If you want to spit. Spit, I prefer to bow."

 

 

The second Chapter of the Shobogenzo is a commentary about the Heart Sutra.  It's a short sutra and it is really well known throughout Japan.  Now to be clear that what I mean by well known here is not that people know what it means, just that people recognize it when it is being chanted and know it is the heart sutra.  From my sampling of interviewing my Japanese wife's friends, I have come to think that very few people have a clue what even the words mean (Often due to them being chanted in Pinyin) and I think that even fewer people that have clarified the meaning of the Heart Sutra for them selves.  

Of the people I asked, most seem to think it is some sort of Buddhist magical spell for health and prosperity.  This reminds me very much of the situation thatoccurred in medieval Europe when the Catholic Church did not want the laypeople reading the bible.

 

In Dogen's Commentary he kindly walks the reader through the Heart sutra and admonishes:

 

"Remember, to receive and retain, to read and recite, and to think reasonably

about [prajnā] are just to guard prajnā. And to want to guard it is

to receive and retain it, to read and recite it, and so on."

 

And in closing he says:

 

"The realization of this prajnāpāramitā is the realization of buddha-bhagavats. We should inquire into it, and we should experience it. To serve offerings to it and to bow in veneration is just to serve and to attend buddha-bhagavats, and it is buddha-bhagavats in service and attendance."

 

(excerpts from Shobogenzo Book 1 Nishijima and Cross translation available here:http://www.numatacenter.com/default.aspx?MPID=81 )

 

 

Now there are two things I hope I have conveyed with this posting.  

The first being that no, we do not have to make prostrations, light incense, or recite sutras, but we should.

 

The second being that we should not take thes actions mindlessly but look deeply into them, when we recite the Heart Sutra we should know the meaning is more important than the words and we should discuss it with good friends and clarify it for ourselves (and all sentient beings will benefit.)  It has been my experience that this small sutra can be a wonderful support to practice and, coupled with Zazen, can lead to an awakening of our own inherent wisdom.

 

 

WRONG CONCEIT/ SITTING WITHOUT A NET

E-mail post, kindly forgive formatting.

Beginning a sitting practice is tough work, particularly when we are
burdened with wrong conceit. Wrong conceit is the view that someone (either
self or other) is lower, higher or the same. Any of these views can be a
big hindrance to practice. I know because I have experienced this first
hand just observing my self. Especially when I hear someone say something
like "I practice sitting for 15 minutes a day" and my comparing mind goes to
work and tells me "oh I'm so much better than that." Or when some other
sitting champion says "I sit four times a day." And the comparing mind goes
to work and thinks: "Oh how can I compare to that, I'm not doing anything
compared to that." Or it can even be something like oh I'm sitting the same
as him so we are equals. I'm using sitting as an example but really this
can apply for any aspect of practice/life. Thoughts that we are better,
worse, or the same are not helpful and conversely can be harmful not only to
your own practice but also to others. Take a moment to think about it and
this becomes a no brainer, winning and losing can cause animosity, excessive
pride, frustration, etcetera. Saying someone is the same when they are not
can also cause animosity, excessive pride, frustration, etcetera. You have
probably seen this too. This path to salvation is not a competition.

Keeping that in mind, something I have enjoyed recently, and would like to
explore more, is sitting without a timer. Or allowing myself the room to
sit without any specific time allotted for it. It has really had a freeing
affect on my sitting. So I would like to recommend to everyone to try it
sometime, Not necessarily all the time.
But some time just don't rely on the clock, don't worry about the sitting
being long or short, if your legs get tired feel free to stretch out or take
a walk, forget about the rigid schedule and just enjoy the sitting doing
itself.

*A note to folks with families who are early morning sitters, I highly
recommend this be done waking up early in plenty of time for the family to
sleep away while you get your cushion squashing on, and you may run in to
problems getting to work on time if you try this on a work day morning.
Running late to work could lead you to not getting your lunch prepared on
time; which may lead to not getting the potatoes cooked prior to leaving;
which may lead to you trying to cook them in the lunch room in a
non-microwave safe dish; which may lead to a fire occurring in the microwave
which could be unpleasant in a number of ways.

If you have just started sitting-Zen there are some useful instructions to
be found here:

http://the-middle-way.org/gpage3.html

Dogen's Bible and Enlightened Teachers

This is why I intend to gather together the few experiences I

had abroad, and to record the secrets of an enlightened teacher, so that they

may be heard by any practitioner who desires to hear them.

Shobogenzo Bendowa Nishijima and Cross translation

There has been a bit of scuttlebutt about internet teachers/communities versus real life flesh and blood teachers/communities that I caught wind of recently.

That, coupled with what ideas of mine of things like teachers and organizations that have been totally smashed, I would like to put forth that the argument either for and against is pretty lame.

First of I think this is a phenomenon that is primarily occurring in the western zen communities so that is where I'm coming from.

The first idea I'd like to smash is that there is a fundamental difference between the two.

Lets think about why we committed ourselves to this practice for a moment. It should not take very long. Most of us came to this practice because we know that something is not quite right and we want to get to the bottom of it. After a bit of practice most people (who are not mentally disabled, or acutely insane) figure out that it is themselves that is not right.

The more not right the person is or the more they are affected by this not rightness is frighteningly proportionate to how dedicated they are to the practice. So the most messed up people end up being zen teachers (or at least zen bloggers.) Just because they have become teachers doesn't mean that they have solved all of their problems either. From what I have seen Dharma transmission doesn't make someone a perfect human being. That goes for pretty much any of our zen sanghas weather online or physical here in the west. I'm sure there are exceptions, but the exceptions are pretty small and are likely not part of the echosphear. Anyone of these zen teachers who present themselves as being anything but a flawed human being is probably a U.S. Marine... unh no I mean a liar liar pants on fire. Yeah, they have likely been practicing for a while, they are likely well versed in dealing with their stuff (maybe) and most of them can actually be quite helpful in coming up with ways to help point you in the right direction for you deal with yours. You may even get really lucky and find a good friend that can point you to see things as they are instead of how you are.

In the interest of full disclosure, at the time of writing this, I have no pretty bolt of silk with a list of names on it to indicate I am a somebody in the zen community. After publishing this, I probably will never get one. Oh, I'd like one, but I think what I am doing right now is more important.

Ok, on to Dogen's bible, The Shobogenzo. While as my friend Ted pointed out it is only 95% complete, it is what Dogen left behind so that we could get the stuff from the guy who kicked off this whole tradition.

So, if you can get together with a group of folks, practice sitting-zen, and clarify the Shobogenzo for the benefit of all sentient beings (it's OK if your just doing it for yourself too, I think the sentient beings will benefit regardless), I think your going in the right direction. Along your way when the time is ripe, your probably going to run in to some guy or gal that might just help you out. They may not have anything to do with zen or be a kind of zen pariah, you may meet them in the flesh or out on the interwebs. But you are going to know when you meet your real teacher. I meet them everywhere.