NellaLou, who writes the blog “Enlightenment Ward" recently had a post that realy resonated with me.
I would like to encourage anyone reading my journal here to go read it here: A Dialogue with Cruelty
OK, go read it really. I’ll wait….
Now the thing that I saw in this post that I liked so much is that for me it is totally spot on. I recognize not only that I have the capacity to be cruel but that I am cruel more often than I would care to admit.
I’ll even go out on a limb and say it can come up pretty much when anything I find disagreeable comes up. A little more softening is still required. While I have been working on not being disagreeable to a myriad of circumstances there is another angle here that I want to address.
Now the root of responsibility is response, or respond. I have found it useful to look deeply into how that response comes into action.
1. I have a tightly held view or opinion. (a preexisting condition)
2. Something comes up to confront my tightly held view. (My Buddha is better than your Buddha)
3. I respond, not out of compassion, but out of defending my tightly held view.
Now I know those are not the best examples for everyone in everyday life, but I think it gets the point across.
I take a little longer to respond nowadays. Not so much thinking abot the actual responce, but where that responce is comming from. I know this frustrates my wife as I take a little longer to answer, but I am pretty certain it is for the best.