J.R.R. Tolkien may have phrased it best:
“I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”
Ok, I don’t mean that as a slight against anyone. But it kind of screams at me for my limited ability to maintain connections to people I meet in real life.
So I finally broke down and got a facebook account.
It is kind of weird. The whole social networking thing is one of those things that I have always been pretty poor at. I can make a connection with someone and just leave it at that and never contact that person again. With the emerging technology of social networking sites like facebook we stay semi-connected to people and it facilitates reconnecting to people that I had not even thought about in decades. And on one hand it may seem like an almost trite way to stay in contact with people on the other hand it can also deepen our relationships with others. I need to get better at that. I have never been one for greeting cards and the like. No, I don’t care for phone calls to much either. But I still like getting updated on what is going on so these new applications seem to fill an important niche for me. At the same time it just doesn’t quite fill my perceived requirement for real face to interaction. It does seem to lack a bit of intimacy and is not quite the same as face to face interactions unless you already know someone really well.
And then there is the whole online persona thing that I just don’t quite get, but recognize that some people are different in real life than they are on line. And to caveat on that, I am sure some people’s impressions of me on the internet would be totally shifted if they met me face to face despite my striving to just be me on the net, without meeting me, you just don’t know for yourself for sure. So come on over and have some tea! Pardon the dust and mess, we’re working on it.
I reiterate that I have always been horrible at maintaining connections. So I am kind of thankful for this technology.
Anyway this has been a kind of wandering post. It is lunch time and I am going to eat now.
22 comments:
I just sent a friend request to you. :)
Ok, but now you have to come over for tea.
Oh--Oh--me too, me too!!! I just joined FB a week ago or so, and I'm astonished at the web of connections this little recluse has managed to be entangled in! It's working very well for me. During the mortgage meltdown folks I knew for decades dispursed to the 4 winds, and they are all coming back together on FB. Also--there's a Soto Zen 'group' you can join on FB if interested.
Ann, yeah the web of connections is pretty vast.
Thanks!
i might be drawing the line with facebook. actually i drew the line with twitter. but it just keeps coming.. :)
Hey Jeff,
It's like the Borg. Eventually everyone will be assimilated!
I closed my Facebook account about a year ago. Even though the site provides reasonable privacy controls, I continued to feel exposed. And, more importantly, it didn't really provide the sense of focus-over-time that I appreciate about blogs.
My daughter, on the other hand, lives within Facebook.
I've been working with a small team to develop a kind of next-generation social application that goes beyond Facebook and MySpace. It's an application that doesn't require going to a Web page. More later - toward the end of the year, I think. (Unsolicited plug!)
Hi Barry,
I guess I don't mind exposing myself...
I do understand about the focus over time thing though. But I can run into that trouble anywhere on the internet, just part of my character is to dig into information cross reference stuff, get multiple views and opinions... yeah. I am an information addict. Yesterday I slipped and spent an hour reading about modern evolution theories, I sometimes just can't help myself. But with stuff like facebook unless someone has got a whole lot to say, It doesn't seem to take too much of my time.
App like Iphone app?
I too joined FB about 2 months ago. I was shocked how much it occupied me for two weeks, and now I maybe check it once every couple of weeks, and I am proud of that.
It has reconnected me with a couple of folks I had been looking for, so it has definitely served me
And I read a great NYT article about how young activists in countries like Egypt and Columbia are able to actually effectively organize and protest because of FB, so it really is a cool thing...
Um, I might be sending a friend request too if I can find you. You too, Uku :)
I also "broke down" a few weeks back and joined FB. I did it mainly for a volunteer organization that I was working for. We all were remote volunteers and thought that FB was a good way to connect. Now I am in touch with lot of old pals. It is a nice way to keep in touch with people with whom you can not find time to talk to.
Molly, I am listed under Jordan Fountain. Of course that means you will have to come out for tea too!
MyoChi, Glad you are making it work for good causes!
Do you realize how many Jordan Fountains there are on FB?!
I use FB just to dabble in. Its good to really know how it works for me so I can advise my students if necessary or at least understand their world a little better.
Go ahead, 'friend' me if you like; I'm at "Erin Riffel".
cheers
Erin, I am pretty easy to pick out... Found you!
I could not find you also..too many Jordan Fountains..
Molly and Uku - how are you listed on FB?
MyoChi, Found you too!
Jordan,
I would like to come over for tea. I'm still figuring out how to bend time and space to get there from here.
MyoChi, Erin, also found you, but where's Molly in Facebook?
Here you go Uku
Hello Jordan,
I can relate very closely to this post. Although I really like technology (though not a techie) and I have been told I am very sociable (Ha!), I do not feel compelled to participate in this virtual "social networking" movement. No myspace, no twitter, facebook, etc... At least not for now. Though maybe as you suggested many moons ago I have considered starting a blog. We will see.
Your musings on internet persona rings loudly with what I have been thinking for a while. I wonder if anybody can ever truly know who we are. In my own case, I have a diverse group of friends. I have noticed as of recent how they all tend to pigeon hole me in one of their neat little stratums. To my MMA (mixed martial arts) friends, I tend to be regarded as the calm and "spiritual" one (barf). To my work friends I am the crazy one who enjoys getting beat up. They often times have told me how much of an idiot I am for participating in my chosen hobby (actually I feel martial arts chose me and it is by no means a hobby to me). To my childhood friends, I have always been told that I am the glue that keeps them all together while at the same time I am the rebel that does what he wants and lives this counter-culture life (whatever that means).
Of course, I have seen lately how I reinforce this persona. To the young hungry pugilists, I act in a way to maximize harmony amongst them. I relish pointing out my bruises and injuries to my workmates. Many of them live a lifestyle that I really find no pleasure in, so I seek to differentiate how we spend our time away from work (Yikes). To my childhood friends, they have seen so many different "Yamakoa's" that I am grateful that we are just still friends.
We are a different persona to everyone we come into contact with. Husband to my wife, Father to a daughter, hope to patients, a struggling zen a devotee to myself and my dharma brother/sisters, a "spiritual advocate to those who seek "spiritual' council, an asshole to the guy I just cut off, an indifferent person to the vagrant whom I do not give money to. a chump to the vagrant I give money to, on and on it goes.
I have heard that through "the practice" one gets to know oneself. I can honestly say that since embarking on the dharma (not that I was ever not on it), I have seen many components to "this self" that I was not aware of. Maybe getting to know "oneself" is just dropping off the "oneself' to know.
I could ramble of ad nauseum, but you post really jives with what I have experiencing lately.
GRACIAS
"Y"
Hi Yamakoa,
That was an interesting comment. It brought up thoughts of all the different roles I play for different people. I lost track.
Thanks for the thought provoking comment, Glad you enjoyed the post. Now I am off to do some non-thinking...
I will come over for tea next time I am in Vancouver, Washington. I am so totally serious. Do you have any black tea or do I need to bring my own?
Molly, I normally have two types of tea in the house. SenCha and not SenCha. The quantity, quality, and variety of not SenCha varies from time to time.
To date none have spontaneously combusted upon crossing the threshold carrying something other than SenCha despite popular belief, nor has the host set fire too or otherwise caused harm to anyone and buried them in the back yard for bringing something other than high quality SenCha. So far...
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