24.2.09

BOOGER

Boogers happen. That I can not reject.
From time to time everyone is going to have a booger and it may peek out or even hang from the tip of ones nose.

Now the polite thing to do is take someone aside and let them know about the booger privately, perhaps even offer them a tissue. I would not go so far as to wipe someone’s nose for them unless they were simply unable to do so for them selves, for example the booger appearing on the nose of a young child or an old and feeble person.

Normally I am not one to point and yell booger in a crowded auditorium.
That kind of action seems to have all kinds of strange effects. Particularly in small groups where someone might be particularly attached to the person with the booger.
Or the person for some strange reason is fond of the booger.

Some might simply agree, yes there is a booger there, please remove it.
Others may laugh or even jeer causing pain to the person with the booger.
Others will perhaps out of kindness, or obliviousness, ignore the booger.
Some really deluded people may begin to worship the booger as if the booger was something that should be praised.

Now the person with the booger upon being made aware of the booger has a lot of different choices to make.

Does he remove the booger, in effect admitting he had a booger in the first place?
Dose he deny that there is a booger there?
Dose he simply accept that there is a booger, but just allow it to simply hang off his nose?
Dose he begin some sort of strange booger cult where people praise the booger?

What of the person pointing out the booger?

If his pointing out the booger helps someone to realize that they have a booger he will feel like he has done a good service for a friend.
If the fact that a booger is there is denied he may be confused.
If the booger is treated indifferently than he may get angry.
If he sees a strange booger cult developing he may just walk (or run) away.

Now I think the proper action would be for one to remove the booger.
However in some strange circles it seems that praising the booger and venerating it as an object of worship is the hip thing to do.

Good friends, do not be deluded about boogers. If someone out of grandmotherly compassion points out a booger to you, please have the sense to remove it.

Please never venerate my boogers, but instead privately explain to me that I have a booger and should take care of it. If you are sensitive about your boogers and I have pointed them out to you in the past or do so in the future, please do not reject the fact that there is still a booger to deal with.

23 comments:

oxeye said...

It is good to check out the bat population in your own belfry before you start worrying about the bats of others.

Jordan said...

Yeah, but sometimes we need help identifying those bats as bats, and even help shooing them out of the house.

oxeye said...

Jordan, True enough.. Thanks. Real help is good. But if you are having problems identifying bats as bats, how can you identify real help from hindrance? I think keeping your nose clean helps..

Lauren said...

Jordan,

You're not really talking about boogers are you? You can't fool me (about this, at least). I'm way ahead of you...

-L

Jordan said...

Jeff,
Yes, keeping your nose clean is a good practice. But sometimes boogers happen and we don't see them. I think there is a informative story about someone not being able to see something because it was in their eyebrows or something to that effect. I try to find reliable people that will discreetly let me know when I have a booger, and I try and do the same for my friends.

________________________________


Lauren,
I am aversive to the practice of praising boogers. Even more so to making a religion out of boogers. I think the best steps are to acknowledge that the booger is there and then make efforts to keep the nose clean. We all have boogers, but it is generally not good to go flicking them at others, eat them, wipe them under the table for others to find, etc.

Keep on keeping on,
Jordan

NellaLou said...

The taxonomy of boogerdom is a vast subject. One which few dare to tackle. Booger removal experts may need to be called. Amateur removal attempts may cause injury. Especially when the booger is the size of an elephant.
I would hope for some assistance in the latter case.

Jordan said...

Nella,
I think that the astute taxonomists can immediately grasp a range of implications and can begin to anticipate plausible and appropriate courses of action in regards to boogerdom. However there are times when we all could use a little help from our friends.

(totally stolen from wikipidia which I used to look up taxonomy)

NellaLou said...

Wikipedia is one of my best friends sometimes.

Uku said...

It's shower time! Thanks, Dharmabro!

EDGEY said...

I see what you did there. :)

Jordan said...

Nella,
Mine too! But i have to be careful not to get too sucked into it.

Uku,
That is the path to saving sentient beings.

Stephen,
Glad to see you here!

Barry said...

Sometimes what appears as a booger is actually a diamond nose stud. Why should either bother us?

In any case, I recommend daily practice with a neti pot.

justzazen said...

Good stuff Jordan! (The teaching, not the booger.)

molly said...

Um Jordan, what if I want to venerate your bugars?

Thanks for this post that had me smiling all the way down.

Jordan said...

Barry,
Yes indeed we should not be fooled by nose studs, nor doubt the true booger.

I think it is important not to be apathetic towards boogers. Neti pot sounds like a good idea though.

JustZaZen, There be a time when a booger is a teaching!

Molly,
If you venerate boogers you may end up doing fairly well selling books about the process of venerating boogers. This may cause a commotion among those who don't care for hearing about boogers though. And unfortunately a side effect of venerating boogers seems to attract others who also venerate boogers, causing a build up of more and more boogers of different verities, some being flicked, picked, smeared wiped and even the infamous farmer blow. (yuck!)

I do venerate smiles!

Curator said...

LOL, was entertaining and informative to read,lol... yeah, I know I havnt been on in a long time, havnt posted anything either, Ive had a rather large booger Ive been trying to remove myself, and am still still trying to, so I probably wont be around, just found myself wondering what youve been up to lately, so dropped in to see...bye.

Jordan said...

Hey Curator, Long time no see. Hope you got a chance to look at these posts:

Succession of Insights: a New batch of pipes (3)

Succession of Insights: a New batch of pipes (5)

Succession of Insights: New Batch of Pipes (6)

Send me an address and I will send one out to you when i am done.

Yamakoa said...

Nice post,
Boogers are the result of a vital function of our lives. In fact, these dried mucous residue, function much like our military might. They serve as a line of defense.

Yes, they don't need to be venerated. At the same time, they do not need to be denigrated.

I have to agree with Barry, Neti pots work very well.

This reminds of a saying from Rumi - something to the effect of " Be proud, you are made from the same stuff as the stars in heaven. Be humble, you are made from the same stuff as that stinky excrement." Or something like that.

Stay warm bro
"Y"

Jordan said...

Yamakoa, thanks for stopping in and the warmth wishes. It is stil chilly outside but the fleece pullover seems to do the trick.

I am going to have to look into a neti pot.

Dirk said...

Hi Jordan, good post!
Booger, fly down, garlic breath, delusions or the like, Id rather be told I have that going on, even if I already know.

If I think I may have gotten rid of one of the above yet never came actually came close to doing so... please shout it at me :)

Jordan said...

Hi Dirk,

Glad you appreciated the post.

If I think I may have gotten rid of one of the above yet never came actually came close to doing so... please shout it at me :)

I will keep that in mind!

molly said...

I venerate smiles too. And Boogers. And I might write a book about prostrating in front of boogers if you'll co-author it for me. It could be our front to just hang out and drink tea all day. Under the guise of boogerdom.

Jordan said...

Molly,

Sounds like it would be a good time!

Thanks for looking!