SlowZen... Again

LAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!

2012-01-23T03:02:00.000-08:00

SPACE AVAILABLE

2012-01-22T03:26:00.000-08:00

THIS BEACH ROCKS

2012-01-21T01:02:00.001-08:00

PINK

2012-01-20T02:04:00.001-08:00

CRASH!

2012-01-19T04:07:00.001-08:00

SPRAY

2012-01-18T02:42:00.001-08:00

FIRST RANT OF THE YEAR

2012-01-16T22:57:00.000-08:00

Something Mumon wrote here inspired me to respond with this mini-rant here. Since I rarely have the time at a keyboard to write anything, I thought I would share my careless and hypocritical keystrokes here.

A few years back there seemed to be a boom of amateur "Practice" blogs that I really enjoyed and found inspiration in. Real salt of the earth stuff. People's own accounts of how there practice was in the moment.

Now the blogosphere appears to be dominated by semi pros, know it alls, priests, and strivers that seem to have sucked the life out of what was once so vibrant. And also seems to have distracted people form turning their gaze inward and looking deeply. So much easier to try and get a rise out of people or attack someone else's path than get them to start thinking critically about their own actions.

Boo.

So it goes.

Where did that come from?

All the best, Jordan

TEATHERED

2012-01-16T15:16:00.001-08:00

ROOTS

2012-01-15T18:59:00.000-08:00

THERE BE SERPENTS HERE!

2012-01-14T22:44:00.000-08:00

CLOCK WATCHING

2012-01-14T15:47:00.001-08:00

POND

2012-01-11T01:49:00.000-08:00

ARROGANCE

2012-01-10T03:23:00.000-08:00

Grounded

2012-01-09T02:46:00.000-08:00

BOOM!

2012-01-08T04:31:00.000-08:00

Sculpted

2012-01-06T18:54:00.000-08:00

Water Shrine

2012-01-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

DROPS

2012-01-05T03:19:00.000-08:00

PINWHEEL

2012-01-04T01:05:00.000-08:00

Ksitigarbha

2012-01-03T04:28:00.001-08:00

Even Jizo gets afflicted by mold in Okinawa.

It's always spring in Okinawa

2012-01-02T16:36:00.000-08:00

The White Assassin II

2011-12-30T17:05:00.000-08:00

HIBISCUS

2011-12-30T14:09:00.000-08:00

The White Assassin

2011-12-29T22:55:00.000-08:00

EXPOSED

2011-12-23T23:23:00.000-08:00

CROOKED SUNSET

2011-12-23T17:30:00.000-08:00

I could have fixed it.

TWENTY YEARS

2011-10-22T01:02:00.000-07:00

Twenty years ago today I experianced my first day of recruit training at
MCRD San Diego.

Big Deal.

No really. It was a big deal. It was home leaving at it's most extreem.

It was also coming home in another sence.

The first day of being part of an organization that is full of pride,
tradition, cerimonies, uniforms, and the beginning of the transferance of a
multitude of other intangable things not all of which can be explained that
were being passed down to me. And I was a part of a new generation of
Marines. One expected to far excede the last.
I knew how to use a computer...

I have talked to monks who have spoken about leaving family life, and
compaired it to the military.
I don't know so much. It seems to me you never leave family life. *with
the exception of a few asthetic hermits, who by and large STILL seem to keep
in touch with families.
Those with monastic lifestyles keep in touch with their own families and
become part of another.
Depending on the liniage, they may even start their own family with a wife
and children.
It seems to me that our family just gets bigger and bigger as we get deeper
and deeper into the buddhadharma we might see that more and more of the
universe is actualy our famly too. (or maby I have been reading too much
TNH lately)
At the same time, the individual who left home is not lost.

Like any parrent, I am concerned about the kids. People say they will
learn, but they seem a lot different than we were.
For one, when my generation came in to the Marines, things were certainly
better on the outside than in. We had a great economy and things seemed to
be getting better. That has changed. And now we have people here that came
not for the intangables, but for the tangables, three hots and a cot, an
education, insurance etc... oh, I know those types have allways been here,
but I don't think on this scale. I am dong my best to train them. I hope I
can push, pull and prod them in a direction that noureshes their ability to
lead, to carry themselves with courrage, poise, and self confidance, enjoy
the pride of belonging to one of the worlds finest organizations of elite
warriors ever known. And to also pass that on to the generation that relives
them. Or it may be that one day we cease to exhist.

I do not have much time left in the green machine. All things that arise
pass away. But I will always have served time as a U.S. Marine.

BOOK REVIEW: OLD PATH WHITE CLOUDS (Thich Nhat Hanh)

2011-10-20T19:49:00.000-07:00

I found a Japanese version of this in a local bookstore, in order to read it
along side of my wife, who found it much more readable compared to other
Japanese dharma books. So we decided we should read it side by side, me
with an English version and her with the Japanese. As I would expect, Thich
Nhat Hanh (TNH)does a wonderful job of artfully telling the story of the
Buddha and all was well untill after about 60% of the way through, the wife
got board siteing that it just seemed to go on and on a bit repettively:
"the Buddha went here; tought this, the Buddha went there; tought that; over
and over again.

I did not share her aversion and found the story done very skilfuly and
enjoyable.

Again, as with other works by TNH, it would occasionaly leave me with the
feeling like I might get trampled by a herd of unicorns as they came down
from a rainbow bridge, which emerged from cotton candy clouds. But that is
OK.
I even think that there is deffinetly a place for this, particularly for
those of us who are so often stuck in the muck where lotus seeds draw their
noureshment.

TNH also did a great job of exploiting the old pali texts which he used as
his source materials to show that the Mahayana view was existant within
those old writings.

Whith this text I got a familiar story retold in eazy to understand verbage
that appealed to my sympathies.
I recommend it for those who are interested in the Buddha's story but not
nessesarily familiar, and those who are familiar with thePali cannon, and
are interested and seing it from the Mahayana viewpoint. Additionaly, I
think it is a good read for anyone who just likes a good story.

Yours from the sea,
Jordan

SHORT BOOK REVIEW: INTERBEING (THICH NHAT HANH)

2011-10-18T23:49:00.000-07:00

This is probably not much of a review, just a few quick opinions.

I love reading Thich Nhat Hanh (TNH) like my kids like cotton candy.
There is something about his style that makes me feel welcome, warm and
embraced. [And maybe gives a bit of a sugary rush.]
Interbeing is no exception. And it even seems to make some space for
reality.

But I can't stay there. Something seems a tad too rainbows and unicorns for
me.
Like a young girls lunchbox. Cute, but somehow out of place on the old
Gunny.

Interbeing is not a tough read, you can get through it fairly quickly.
Light on challenging verbiage and when it uses foreign words they are
explained in detail.

The book is broken uo into four parts:

Part one discussed the order of interbeing. A global organization
establishe by TNH.

Part two discussed commenteries on the fourteen mindfulness trainings, which
are a little different than the precepts that I know. [Or don't know so
well.]

Part three, is about their spacific cerimonies, which while nice, I really
just skimed over.

And Part four is about the charter of the order of interbeing.

It's all very beautiful, but I think I prefer disorganized religion.

Yours from the sea,
Jordan

SITTING WITH EARPLUGS IN

2011-10-02T04:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I am back onboard the USS Essex.
Re-learning all those lessons about sitting at sea.
Grateful for my small but private space.

I have been sitting with earplugs to try and help diminish some of the
ship noise, but it doesn't really help much. Sitting at sea is like a
new experience each time I go out. The whole body mind explodes into
revolt due to the myriad things going on around it, from the noise, to
the swaying of the ship, to the lighting and to the ventilation, to the
smell... etc. All five senses become fully engaged in rejecting just
sitting still. And in the back of my brain housing unit the line from
the Fukan Zazengi on an infinite loop playback "A quiet place is best...
A quiet place is best... A quiet place is best... A quiet place is
best... A quiet place is best... A quiet place is best... A quiet place
is best... A quiet place is best... A quiet place is best... A quiet
place is best... A quiet place is best... A quiet place is best... A
quiet place is best... A quiet place is best... A quiet place is
best... A quiet place is best... A quiet place is best... A quiet
place is best... A quiet place is best... A quiet place is best... A
quiet place is best... A quiet place is best... A quiet place is
best... A quiet place is best..." ad nausea. Exhale with a smile,
repeat.

I was happy to be joined by a young person in the Chapel Lounge for
Sunday Zen practice, unfortunately about five minutes into our time
block the ship had a drill, and well we had to get to our designated
areas. But still, it gives me some joy when I run into a sincere
inquirer.

Not much else to say... The chow is fine.

Great Teacher Dogen's Perinirvana Day

2011-09-21T20:09:00.001-07:00

Today is a great day, it is a day we drink Perrier and listen to Nirvana in honor of one of the Greatest Buddha ancestors of the last 1000 years.

Wait what?

Yes, that is an example of how things get screwed up over time. (More on this in the last paragraph.)

While today, September 22, in my time zone (in Okinawa, Japan) it is indeed Great Teacher Dogen's Perinirvana day, it has nothing to do with expensive French water and depressing music from Seattle.

I imagine most of the readers here understand Perinirvana as the final nirvana, which (from Wikipedia) occurs upon the death of the body of someone who has attained complete awakening (bodhi). It implies a release from the bhavachakra, Saṃsāra, karma and rebirth as well as the dissolution of the skandhas.... Whatever all that means.

Those more steeped in the Mahayana tradition might understand Perinirvana more like (from Wikipedia) the realm of the eternal true Self of the Buddha.

Either way, I am not sure it matters so much to me as they are both not that and or while apparently contradictory they are both true and there are other things that are simultaneously equally true which appear to void them out.

I had all this worked out in my brain housing unit pretty well for a bit, and I wanted to try and make it simple before going off on a few other tangents. Then I found out I was going to be posted as the Command Duty Officer of the day... Some people translate Dharma as Duty. Which could be a case in point as to how suffering is Dharma.

Back to the front: When this red lump first started a sitting practice one of the first experiences was that everything that arises passes away. So what is born inevitably dies. Perfectly in accord with reason and I think easily observable.

Later in practice, with the aid of a good teacher, there is another understanding, and that is that now is the only thing that is real, and that nothing arises or passes away at all. This might take a bit of stretching of reason until it doesn't... Great teacher Dogen' does a great job of illuminating this, and so does the Lotus Sutra, but it still can be a little slippery since it is not in accord with the view that everything that arises passes away. Put from the frame of reference that it is so just in this present moment, I find it still in accord with reason.

Here's the kicker, both of these views are true depending on which way you are looking. It is a bit like one of those pictures that look like one thing from one point of reference and something else from another.

And there is something else, which is even harder for me to express, which may suggest to that I have not fully digested it. But that is the view of permanence. While the Lotus Sutra addresses it, The Mahayana perinirvana sutra goes into it further, but I found it so contrary to my understanding at the time that I put it down.

But I may have a glimpse of it like this. Great teacher Dogen did not enter Perinirvana on September 22nd at all. He is alive and well and still preaching the Dharma today. I know this is true; because if he was not I would not be writing this post.

Back to the joke at the top.

Today there is something called the Soto Zen School. This was never the intention of its so called founder. Yet it has been preserved and has persevered through the ages. In Great teacher Dogen's Dharma eye treasury, he went into detail as to how the lineage of Great Teacher Rinzai's lineage had messed things up illustrating how He (Rinzai) would never had said "Preserve my Rinzai School" but rather he would have said "Preserve the correct Dharma Eye." [I'm doing this form memory so if you know where it is in the Shobogenzo, please point it out in the comments.] Never the less Great teacher Dogen's lineage went to great lengths to preserve the so called "Soto School" instead of preserving the correct dharma eye. So it goes.

This may all just be a rationalization of my present view, a view that should ultimately be dropped off in sitting.

Jordan

A Rare update

2011-09-18T21:11:00.001-07:00

There have been too many unwritten blog posts since my last one. I find myself constructing posts in my head but by the time I have time and a keyboard in front of me, it's gone from thought. For those that still read, thank you for bearing with me for the last couple of years. They have been challenging on a number of different levels. And a number of those I am not at liberty to talk about, and some that I am just not comfortable talking about, and quite a bit that has passed by without comment because I haven't had/made the time to write it down. But the wheel keeps turning.

I turned 38 last month. Someone who did not identify themselves sent me a copy of Old Teacher Uchiyama's "Opening the hand of thought" for the kindle, thank you whoever you are. This means that my print copy is now available for anyone who will respect it and promise to pass it along to the next person when they no longer feel a need for it.

It's also September now, so I will be leaving on the Fall Patrol with the 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit soon. You can find the 31st on facebook and the Public Affairs guys do a good job keeping folks informed of the comings and goings of the MEU.

I have not dropped my retirement papers yet. As I understand it I have to stay until I finish my Okinawa tour.

I've dropped most of the ritual from my practice. It was so important to me once. But now mostly I just sit, usually only a half hour to an hour in the mornings. Evening practice is usually neglected lately in favor of spending that precious time with the family. I make up for this at sea, where practice has its own set of interesting challenges.

Lunch time is over, Forgive formatting as this is an e-mailed post and blogger sometimes does strange things with them.

Waiting for Liberty

2011-08-12T01:30:00.000-07:00

“Liberty” we so often take it for granted. I’m not talking about the kind of liberty that the constitution was designed to protect, that’s a whole other story.
I am talking about the permission, granted by the commanding officer, to allow me to go home to my wife and kids after a day of work. This as of now has not been granted today. Being in Okinawa has, for me, one perk. I get good tea. Other than that there are a whole lot of draw backs.
One on my mind right now is that all it takes is for a few deluded service members to go out and do something stupid, and all of Marine Corps Base Japan starts a new “Liberty Campaign Policy.”
What the young guys and girls don’t understand (along with some of us older guys too) is that while in the armed forces, liberty is a privilege, not a right. But like the rest of the country we have a tendency to have an entitlement mentality. But as one fellow Gunny put it so bluntly: “You are entitled to call yourself a Marine, because you earned that title, everything else is a privilege that can be taken away.”
So, here I sit, waiting for the folks who get paid more than me to allow me permission to go home on a Friday evening.
You folks in America don’t take your liberty for granted.
I don’t.

Cherry Garcia Zen

2011-07-22T21:19:00.000-07:00

I may have mentioned previously that since I have been back the girls have been more interested in sitting with me. To the point where last night Iris even came to me and said "Daaaadeeeee, isn't it time for Zazen?" Last night I let her run the block, bell and keep time.

This morning Hannah had her turn. This is cool, but not the main point of the title.

Allowing the girls to run the timer and bell has allowed me some space that I guess my practice needed.

While typically when sitting I am wrestling with all kinds of monsters like: how is my posture, why is the dog barking, ugh the cat is tearing up the tatami mat again, why is the TV on so loud? And other zen koans. Today was different and I was able catch a whiff of bliss. *note this is not a "Goal" of practice. It just happens from time to time and it too just arises and passes away. It is just nice scenery to have from time to time.
But I was discerning enough to really observe it this time. A first for me, usually if and when this happens I just kind of bliss out. And what I observed was just the sensation of the bliss and I tried to explain it to myself. The first thing that popped into my head was Ice cream. Bliss feels like cream. Not just any ice-cream, but Vermont's own Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia on a hot day. Not the sweetness or the coldness, that isn't the point. It may just be the endorphins or dopamine released into the brain housing unit.

Now, just because I wrote that please don't go seeking out bliss experiences. Because just like eating to much of Ben and Jerry's tasty ice-cream is not healthy, Dropping into bliss states in Zazen, or more specifically directing yourself too them is not so good for you either. It is just another ghost cave you can get trapped in. So nice to visit, but don't stay there.

More Buddhist Schwag

2011-07-22T05:04:00.001-07:00

Just got this back from the frame shop. ¥300 dish towel with a $200 framing job.

Self-indulgently letting it all come out in the wash

2011-07-21T20:35:00.000-07:00

Longing for old times

Aware of the delusion

Pleasant summer rain

********************

Being uprooted

Again and again for years

Two thousand thirteen

*************************

To be here right now!

Is what the old adepts preach

Try in this crock pot.

***************************

Interrupted though.

Lunch breaks are delusion too.

More papers to file.

****************************

Always the full moon.

Never about the full sun.

Old turds can't write truth.

****************************

Hey Dharma Master!

You rage against Buddhism.

I'll practice Crossisim.

***************************

Mindlessly eating

While reading a dharma text

Stain [page] one seven nine

***************************

Forgot the right way

Getting well versed in the wrong

Stiff shoulders, sore neck

**************************

Sit still, what a joke!

Only a statue does it

But I keep trying

***************************

Someone may say that

These are not proper haiku

Can't argue with that

*************************

Talks about stillness

The way won't stop anyplace

They're cruel old beggars

*************************

Harmony sounds nice

But all I get is discord

Ah, drop off the "I"

************************

Accessibility failed

I wonder if obscurity

Is any better?

***********************

History is nice

But it is only "His Story"

Nothing to hold to

**********************

Preceptor, what gives?

Check greed, anger, delusion

It is about you!

**********************

I cannot always write

The verses that I want to

The UCMJ

*********************

A little restraint

As is sometimes required

Comes with the paycheck

*********************

Lunch nearly over

Should try to type something good

That will not happen.

********************

Eighteen verses here

stirred by "The Roaring Stream" Thanks,

Foster and Shoemaker

Morning

2011-07-21T17:36:00.000-07:00

Clouds above the hills
Finally a cool rain falls
Hot ocean rope steams

Manjushri Altar

2011-07-21T05:47:00.000-07:00

Since I have been back

2011-07-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

Since I have been back from the short patrol, my eight year old daughter has asked me to wake her for the morning sitting. I think this is pretty cool and I will get back to that in a bit.

During this morning’s sit, a thought bubble popped up, regarding my daughters strange request as she sat on the other side of the room. “What is she doing, sitting there?” Then I turned that though bubble inward and asked myself the same question. “What am I doing, sitting here?”
The answer I gave myself at the time is that I was chasing stories and not mentally sitting full lotus, and that I had better get back to the matter at hand.

Later while brewing some tea I recalled that I was her age when I first caught an interest in the way. And I was her age when I first attempted to read the Dhammapada. I thought about how lucky she is to have (gulp) me to sit with and found myself a bit envious of her situation. I know this sounds a little conceited to me too as I type it out. It is what it is.

I am grateful for my parents, for sowing the seeds to allow me to have become the person I am today.

I am grateful to Mike Cross, because I think largely thanks to his efforts I know that despite my end-gaining tendencies I recognize that I am still flawed, but doing my best now to inhibit the tendency to play out the worst of those flaws.

I am grateful for my wife for putting up with what most people might think is eccentricity.

And to my children, for the constant lessons they provide.

Glad that didn’t work out...

2011-07-06T03:36:00.001-07:00

Well, I am no longer in route to Australia. Unexpected changes to the schedule had me embarked on the Essex for all of a week, and then disembarked back to Camp Hansen for the Fourth of July... Which I worked through after working through the weekend to unpack my office and make it operational again... Now I am back in the normal routine of spot checks, maintenance, growling at Lance Corporals and young NCOs.

That sounds grim but really I am happy to be home. I have been to Australia and don't feel like I am missing out on anything (which is exceptionally rare, a lot of people seem really heartbroken about this) by getting bumped from this patrol. I did make a few preemptive adjustments prior to embarking that now seem regrettable, like taking down the Okinawa Zazen group page since I thought I would only have about 30 or so days left at home this year and there was no longer anyone left on island I felt comfortable handing it over too. Things change.

So, now, if you are interested in the Buddha, Dharma, or Sangha and are stationed in Okinawa (between now and September, when I get on the Essex again) drop me a line and we’ll sit, and or talk about sitting, or maybe just sit and drink tea... I get the good tea and I would just assume talk about that as well. Or talk about tea cups, or tea pots, or the end blown flute, I used to like to talk about goldfish, but now I don't have any so not so much.

Oh, don’t worry about not being Buddhist enough. That stuff is a drag. But a keen interest in the Dharma is always appreciated. Or tea, that’s cool too.

Sex and the Spiritual Teacher: Book Review

2011-05-24T23:44:00.000-07:00

I got another advanced reader's copy of this book a while ago and put it off for some time... I was doing a lot of other things, so my apologies for the delay to the kind person at Wisdom who sent this one my way.

This one (Sex and the Spiritual Teacher by Scott Edelstein) is pertinent to our times for sure as cases like Eido Shimano, and Dennis Marzel, do come up and these things can present a challenge to anyone's practice.

My first note is that this is much easier reading than say, the Lotus Sutra... Scott does a good job writing in a readable fashion and after reading a few of Steven Heine's books in a row I really appreciate readability right now.

Despite that bit of praise, even before the introduction section the author states that he is not a spiritual teacher. I call bullshit on that. Seriously, who is not a spiritual teacher? Not me... Actually I know what he is saying but the duality of it irked me as I read it. As an aside, my view is that there is not any thing (or non thing) that is not a spiritual teacher. Even poo.

Mic Hunter, who I have no idea who he is, gives a flowering introduction to the book, and I must say, with good reason.

Chapter one begins with a necessary horror story than goes on to throw out that a surprisingly large percentage of spiritual teachers (from non western traditions) have had sex with at least one of their students...

That kind of blew me away at first, than I thought about how much I like sex, and throw on top of that a little perceived powers, and blamo your doing the William Clinton. I guess it really should not be that surprising at all. The author goes on to make some great points about the nature and responsibility of both Teachers and Students. Latter on in the book I was in a state of disbelief as I read over some of the scenarios and reality hit me hard as I realized that anyone, given the right circumstances, can be that naïve to fall for some of the stuff someone in a position of authority might pull. And I find myself grateful that I have avoided that sticky stuff for the moment...

Anyway, I have decided not to do a chapter by chapter blow by blow of this book, and despite it having a reference to Ken Wilber, I am going to recommend it for anyone with any kind of foundational involvement in a "Spiritual" community. That is if you want to have a good background in how to avoid and or deal with the sticky situations that the title suggests.

Yours in practice,
Jordan

Zen Notes

2011-05-24T02:55:00.000-07:00

In learning to play the end blown flute, one of the most important things I did right was to blow through my mistakes.

My ability to do this impressed my teacher, or so he said.

I have not kept the practice of blowing zen up very well for some time now though. And just a few moments ago I went over the fingering exercise for the basic five notes.

I noticed I made the same mistakes as I made when I first received the lesson.

I think that might be a good reason to rededicate myself to the practice in it self.

I have been noticing a lack of humility lately. I think it might be a good time to do something I blow at.

Yours in practice,
Jordan

Overtasked

2011-05-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

There have been many things I have wanted to write about.
Unfortunately (or not...) most of my thoughts don't stick around long enough to make it till 1952 when I finally have a moment to sit down in the evenings, if I don't have a previous arrangement of helping the girls with homework or help in the kitchen, or help with the laundry, attend to disciplinary matters, separating battling siblings, etc, etc.

On my mind right now is the stream of different reactions to the death of a guy who lived his life by hate.

Now some of the more "Boodysty" types have predictably quoted the Buddha saying "Hatred is never overcome by hatred, but by love" which is all well and good when you are talking to a child of the Buddha, and I would go even further to say that this is very true even and especially in war. But it is not probably not going to change the minds folks who are dwelling in the hell realms of institutionalized hatred until that karma reaches its own fruition.

You see there striver, even though I think the guy was just reaping the benefits of the fruition of his actions, its ripples are not done yet by a long shot. We (human beings, animals , hungry ghosts, demons and gods) are going to pay the price for our actions (and already are) and then we will make someone else pay for theirs and so on. That's how we roll that big ole wheal o' Samsara. So no need to rejoice or feel bad really. They guy had it coming, just like we got it coming to us. And it goes on and on and on.

So what do I do about it? Restrain yourself from evil, allow merit to pile up? Maybe just start by turning off the TV, find a quiet room, a nice cushion, light some incense, put on a patched robe, announce your intention to save all sentient beings, have a seat, twist your legs into a pretzel shape for a half hour or so. Well that's what I'm doing anyway... And if you are in Okinawa you can join me for a free sitting this Saturday! Enlightenment guaranteed or your money back!

Bonus round:

Dhamapada Chapter 10:

Violence

All beings tremble before violence.

All fear death.

All love life.

See yourself in other.

Then whom can you hurt?

What harm can you do?

He who seeks happiness By hurting those who seek happiness Will never find happiness.

For your brother is like you.

He wants to be happy.

Never harm him And when you leave this life You too will find happiness.

Never speak harsh words For they will rebound upon you.

Angry words hurt

And the hurt rebounds.

Like a broken gong Be still, and silent.

Know the stillness of freedom Where there is no more striving.

Like herdsmen driving their cows into the fields,

Old age and death will drive you before them.

But the fool in his mischief forgets And he lights the fire

Wherein one day he must burn.

He who harms the harmless Or hurts the innocent, Ten times shall he fall -

Into torment or infirmity, Injury or disease or madness, Persecution or fearful accusation, Loss of family, loss of fortune. Fire from heaven shall strike his house

And when his body has been struck down, He shall rise in hell.

He who goes naked, With matted hair, mud bespattered,

Who fasts and sleeps on the ground And smears his body with ashes And sits in endless meditation, So long as he is not free from doubts, He will not find freedom.

But he who lives purely and self- assured,

In quietness and virtue,

Who is without harm or hurt or blame,

Even if he wears fine clothes,

So long as he also has faith,

He is a true seeker.

A noble horse rarely Feels the touch of the whip.

Who is there in this world as blameless?

Then like a noble horse Smart under the whip.

Burn and be swift.

Believe, meditate, see.

Be harmless, be blameless.

Awake to the dharma.

And from all sorrows free yourself.

The farmer channels water to his land.

The fletcher whittles his arrows.

The carpenter turns his wood.

And the wise man masters himself.

Excerpt from The Dhammapada

Translated by Thomas Byrom

What am I doing for Earth Day? Zazen!

2011-04-22T15:14:00.000-07:00

I get the thing about Earth day.
I used to be really into it too.
Then life happened.

I tell my wife not to buy those plastic bottles of water.
But for her, filling a stainless steel water bottle from the britta water purifier is too much work...

But earth-day has not been about that. We might think it is.
But that kind of thinking is about the same as that guy burning korans down in Florida.
The "I am morally right in my own mind so therefor you should do as I say because it is good for you and the planet!"
It is not going to convince someone like my wife to do the right thing.
Heck, I can't even get her to stop getting plastic bags even though I have given her enough of those pretty recycled ones for two families shopping excursions.

Earth day is about inspiring those engineers and scientists who make all the crap we use a little better.
Or at least a little less toxic to the planet. Or making it profitable to recycle by having stores charge for bags, or just not offer anything but the canvas ones.

I am not much of an environmentalist type. But I do think I have some common sense. Until we make it profitable and easy for folks to do the right thing. Earth day is just another holiday that I don't get a day off for, and wont do much to celebrate other than lament over the stuff I see in my garbage can.

I am opening the house for Zazen today. the schedule is as follows:

0930- Introduction and Instructions for sitting and Zen hall etiquette
1000- Zazen
1030- Kinhin
1040- Zazen
1110- If you show up, we'll talk about practice, the dharma (not two)

This schedual will repeat untill I depart with the 31st MEU on the Summer Patrol.

Test

2011-04-21T14:51:00.000-07:00

Alright give me a test of the Dragon dictation software. Which means I probably will have to enunciate all my punctuation. It doesn't seem to process as fast as I talk . I was hoping it would work so that it would be more fast and accurate than typing what I'm using my phone. But I can see that it already says in the beginning. Alright give me a test of the Dragon dictation software. When I said I am testing the Dragon dictation software. Oh well I guess it is something that I will have to work with. Anyway had to wake up early for a formation this morning and that meant leaving the house much earlier than I prefer to. And I like to make paragraphs is a little easier oh well. I might be able to use this later for blog posts I'm not sure.

Typed out with my thumbs on my phone.

Let the day begin!

2011-04-18T16:05:00.001-07:00

40 minutes of yoga and strength training.

30 minutes of Zazen.

Shower, shave, get dressed.
Eggs and bacon & seven cups of green tea.
This playlist for the drive to work.

When Zen Attacks!

2011-04-17T16:45:00.001-07:00

Oh what a catchy title!

I bet it has been used before…

I blew it this morning.

I did something I rarely do.

I looked at the Internet before Zazen.

I left a critical comment somewhere.

The blog looked quite professional.

Apparently the author is some kind of Zen teacher.

I bet she is a real nice person.

To bad she rubbed me the wrong way with a post.

She wrote about restraint.

I practiced very little with my comment.

Sometimes, you have to say something!

But I could have done better.

I’m out of practice.

She got what she deserved!

No one deserves hash speech.

What was Dogens admonition?

Be bold, be upright!

Deluded self confidence,

Deluded self doubt.

Last day off on the 96 hour liberty.

I think I will sit with that.

Back From the Spring Patrol...

2011-04-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

I am on a post deployment 96 hour liberty period after the conclusion of the 31st MEU's fall patrol.

We did a lot, most of it is documented here: The 31st MEU Homepage.

I hosted Sunday and evening sittings down in the chapel lounge, there was one sailor who was semi consistent in showing up. Other than that it was mostly curious onlookers with no will to the truth.
I know this can change, so it would be nice to think that perhaps I fanned the embers instead of dousing them with water. Don't know.

I did manage to get through some books though:

I finished Realizing Genjokoan which I think I can recommend with confidence, Shohaku Okamura's humble writing style appeals to me and I think this book may be helpful for those stumbling along the Buddha way.

As I recall, Okumura mostly just recommends people sit Zazen. Which is exactly as it should be.

Next I read Mud and Water, a book that was sent to me by a friend after I thouhgt I would like learning more about Bassui. This turned out to be disappointing, not due to the translators effortts which I found to be quite good, but do to Bassui's use of wato Koans and eternalist viewpoint. Eternalisim is not the view of Budhas.

The last book I struggled with. "Dogan and the Koan Tradition" I like the authors other works Zen ritual, and Did Dogen Go to China?, but this one failed to do anything for me.

Steven Heine has grown a lot since this one... Thank the buddha nature. I would not recommend this book unless you want a vocabulary lesson. To many $64.00 words were used when a .25ç word could have been used just as well, and made the work a little more bearable to read. I get the feeling Heine was trying to impress his professor with this or something, Maybe he could do a rewrite and make it a bit more readable, but even then the content did not seem that interesting or helpful to me either.

Saturday Zazen and tea will be offered at my place on Camp Shields until I take off once again for the Summer Patrol in a few weeks.

Peace,
Jordan

UNDERWAY

2011-02-02T18:43:00.000-08:00

I am back at sea aboard the ESSEX again. I have been for about a week.

I have got “Buddhist Services” on the schedule for Sundays and Zazen practice every evening at 2200.

So far, one other person has shown up on Sunday, and I am the only sitter in the evenings.

But as the great master says:

“Zazen, even if it is only one human being sitting for one moment, thus enters into mystical cooperation with all dharmas, and completely penetrates all times; and it therefore performs, within the limitless universe, the eternal work of the Buddha’s guiding influence in the past, future, and present.”

Shobogenzo Bendowa, Nishijima and Cross translation.

Life at sea does not seem as hard this time. I am not sure if it is because I have become accustomed to it, or because I arranged my workspace differently, or my rack assignment changed, or because they caught the monkey who had been banging on the pipes with a wrench at night during the last two deployments, or whatever. But this float is almost bearable this time.

I brought a lot to read, but still have not had time to open up the books too often.
Sometimes during the day I take a look at the Shobogenzo and read a few passages.

I have read the thing numerous times and I still find inspiration in it.

Anyway, I am safe, my air-conditioning works, and the Salad bar is sufficient.

I can’t get on facebook or gmail though, so if you want to contact me you can reach me at my firstmame(dot)mylastname@essex.usmc.mil

Yours in practice,

Jordan

Thought bubbles are a bit stinkier than spit bubbles. Here, smell mine.

2011-01-22T14:42:00.000-08:00

I have not updated this blog thing often in the last year, and I am not saying I'm sorry for that. It's just an observation.

For what it's worth, as I type this, Iris is telling me all about her loose tooth. She is very happy about having this loose tooth because she is not even six yet. I am going to go ask her about this as I don't understand.

The answer was a blank stare... Sometimes it is difficult raising a Zen master.

An observation I made along side of a friend of mine who is a pretty awesome writer is that we (he and I at least) have a lot more creative energy and drive to write when we are suffering.

So, despite the activity of 2010, and the fact that it was much less than ideal, it must have been a pretty good year. Or alternatively I just had too much going on to post much.... Or I couldn't post much because the Information assurance Nazis blocked off blogger....

The good news for this year.... After six or so years of telling my wife how cool this guy Dogen's writing is, She finally broke down and put the 95 chapter version of the Shobogenzo on order.

Wow.... She even comes and sits Zazen with me on occasion... While this is mostly because she noted that I went from having high blood pressure 5 years ago to having "Ideal" blood pressure this year 110/68, is pretty damned good for a guy with a high stress job, goes on big gray floating prisons for extended period of time, often, has to deal with Marines from the Combat Arms, Air Wing and Support Communities, often all in the same day... That's fantabulas to me. Let me blow my horn. TOOT!

It's weird though, because there are still a lot of stressors out there, and I still haver to respond to them.

Anyhow, dear readers, My wish for you in 2011 is that you continue to sit, that you continue to study the Buddha dharma, and that we all realize the great way together.

Now I am going to help give the dog a bath.

First Light 2011

2010-12-31T21:28:00.000-08:00

Normally I write some stuff about a revolution around the sun and stuff. Not this year. Besides, every day it is the beginning of another revolution around the sun so whats the big deal eh?

This year we woke up early on new years day and participated in a local tradition of going out to to the ocean to catch the first rays of light hitting Okinawa... As you can see from the photos, the clouds were not really cooperating.

After that the family went out to Kin-Kannon-Ji (a Shingon temple that specializes in awamori) to do the fortune thing where you make a wish and grab a paper with some fortune on it. I wished I could save all sentient beings, and the paper said that if I help people my wish will come true. So there you have it! I will fulfill the Bodhisattva vow!

After that we paid homage to the local water god, and took some water from a hot spring.

Than we went to a local shopping mall, got some gift bags for the kids, and generally did our part to support the local economy.

Now I'm writing this pretty uninspired blog post and I think next I'm going to practice some brushwork... or take a nap I have not yet decided.

Tomorrow Zazen will be offered from 0930-1200, followed by tea and talk.

Zazen will continue until morale improves!

2010-12-28T19:37:00.001-08:00

A friend of mine had a sign on his door that said "The beatings will continue until morale improves!"

So that is where I got the idea for the post title.
Zazen should continue regardless of morale.

My morale is probably right where it should be all things considered, so don't worry, this is not a cry for help.

What I really wanted to talk about is that I have been enjoying the benefits of Yoga on top of my Zazen practice lately. I had done a few yoga exercises in the past to help me out with getting into the full lotus posture. In my typical end gaining fashion I went straight for the targeted stretches that would aid me in the areas I needed aid in, and threw out the rest.

This time I am doing it a little differently...

One of the winter festivus acquisitions (to facilitate demonstrations of feats of strength) I got for the family was the Wii fit plus.

I figured it would be a good way to motivate my sedentary family into being a little less sedentary. I also bought a Frisbee.

The Frisbee is actually working out pretty well with the kids. They seem to love it and it has been effective at getting them out of the house. But the Wii fit contraption is pretty darn cool too, particularly on rainy days and at night.

What I have found is that there is a pretty nice yoga program on the Wii that, although it took three days for me to notice, can actually provide the muscles a good workout.

The side benefit to my Zazen practice is that I have noticed a bit more confidence in my sitting. I'm sure that will pass, but I am enjoying the Yoga anyway. So there. The Gunny is doing yoga and liking it.

Pop Heart Sutra - Hatsune Miku「English Sub」 And a reminder about Saturday's Zazen Group being on Sunday this week.

2010-12-14T14:56:00.000-08:00

Generally, I am not into chanting in a foreign language. The Buddha spoke in the local language of his time and I am pretty sure that is the best direction to follow. But this Video is pretty cool anyway.

I would love to see more songs that teach the Buddhadharma in English, but I'm not much of a musician type.

In other news, Just a reminder the Saturday sitting has moved to Sunday for this week only, Please RSVP or something.

This is a really informative book about the Heart Sutra.

How I feel about spelling.

2010-12-13T14:47:00.001-08:00

TEAM ZAZEN OKINAWA!!!

2010-12-10T13:20:00.000-08:00

(Picture may not be an accurate depiction of Team Zazen Okinawa)
I have been lamenting the lack of fellow cushion squashers here on this remote island, but I suppose I have not been doing much about it. I also tend to think that most people would rather spend there time focused on those things that cause them to suffer than to focus on cessation from suffering, so there you have it.

Occasionally I get an email or someone will ask me about Zazen, but no one has shown up for sitting since I have been back.

If your reading from Okinawa, and your that guy who was interested in sitting and discussing the Dharma, please keep in mind that I am here for a limited time only.

That sounds like a commercial eh?

Anyway, I am not selling anything but offering fellowship along the eightfold path, and its is 100% free, money back guaranteed.

In other news, the whole family, including the cat and pug dog got some great Buddamass gifts from my friend Giesla. so I have to humbly say thank you so much on behalf of the whole family. and the tea is a pleasant reminder of a time when my life was a little less hectic, so thanks especially for that.

I did find some appropriate Buddamass cards at Caffe press, they are not cheep and they rip you off on shipping as well. I guess that is what you have to do to make a living nowadays. But I did get some Manjushri Note cards for those occasions where I feel like sending someone a card. Which wont be too often since my handwriting is just Mara awful.

Anywho, I have not been updating this blog thing much and that is mostly due to the tempo at work, so for those who keep checking up on me here, I'm OK! Just got an abundance of things to do.

I am taking some local leave and will still end up spending a few hours at work just to catch up with stuff.

This post is drifting, so here:

Back Home?

2010-12-02T20:48:00.001-08:00

Well, I have been back in Okinawa for ten days. The question mark by home is just because I don't really think of this place as "home." The more I think about it, I have been homeless for over 19 years now. I know My Mom would say I always have a home with her, and others might say home is where the heart is, or home is wherever the Marine Corps sends me etcetera, etcetera, but for me the only real home for me might just be Zazen.

I was thinking about creating a list of all the things in Okinawa that annoy me but I suppose that is an exercise similar to rubbing salt in an open wound.

What I am appreciating might be a better thing to hash over...

My Wife: She does her best to take care of me in so many ways.
And she has finally started to pay attention to the things I have been telling her for over a decade.

My Kids: They are always so excited when I get home from work. I know this won't last but I sure am enjoying it now.

Home cooked meals: Ok, maybe the competition from the ship is not so steep, but it is just nice to eat in my own kitchen.

Tea: I am pretty particular about the way I brew tea, and that is a luxury I could not reproduce on the ship.

Zazen: It is just great to be back on my cushion and not have the sounds of the ship as a constant... Ugh, I have to go back there too...

The Cat and dog: They don't ask questions and are always willing to listen to my rants.

The Bed: I don't have to climb up six feet to get into it, and if I fall out I probably won't break anything.

The door: If I walk out or in I don't have to request permission to go ashore or to come aboard. Or fall into the ocean. And I don't have a four day window in which to use it or have to wait till next month.

Windows: While I don't have the luxury of them at my office, they are at the house. And it is nice to get the natural light into the spaces.

Laundry: Wow, fresh!

The internet: I can actually read blog posts and Facebook, and get my e-mail!

The Shower: I am not constantly told to conserve water, I don't have to hold down a button to get water, and I can get the temperature "Just right" and don't have to worry about it being scalding hot or hypothermia inducing cold.

Clean Toilets: 'nough said.

Physical Training: I am not restricted in what times I can go out for a run due to flight quarters.

In other Physical Training notes, I eeked out a first class on my Combat Fitness Test. Google Marine Corps Combat Fitness test to learn more about that. Guess I'm in better shape than I thought.

That's all I can think of right now, if you are in Okinawa and interested in sitting Zen, look me up. I got a small Zen hall set up and Zafu space available.

Zazen notes from the sea

2010-11-17T03:19:00.000-08:00

The top rack has no ceiling, so it is ideal for sitting zen at sea. Just watch out for the pipes that are now at head level as you sway back and fourth.

The air zafu is pretty worthless at sea. It is hard enough to balance on the air zafu on dry ground and it offers zero stability on the boat. My rolled up iso mat is a much better support.

Time looses all meaning when you don't see the sun for days at a time.
The frequent change of timezones compounds this. My heart goes out to those submariners.

It will be too hot or too cold.
Deal with it.

Give up any ideas of a quiet place to sit. There are none available.

The Internet, when it works, will have anything not related to sports or work blocked.

Whistles and bells are necessary to signify the start or stop of everything. They must be played at maximum volume over the ships intercom without regard to weather or not you are on a sleep period.

You will be served chicken.

If you complain of foot cramps you will be told to eat a banana.

Bananas will not be available after the first week of the deployment.

Plan time to poop carefully on the upper level there are two toilets for about 300 or so people.

This is not suffering.
This is not not suffering.

The Buddha is speaking from the dharma seat even now.

30 days at sea and the package my wife sent the day I left still has not caught up with me.

Buddhist services will be held at 1500 on Sundays in the chapel lounge. (pssst. This means Zazen, Woot!)

Do not become attached to your own interpretation of the dharma.

Sat with five courageous bags of skin on Saturday. I wonder how many will show up next week?

I GOT MAIL!!! Yay! Yay!
I GOT MAIL!!! Yay! Yay!

I got Tea! Really good tea!
Got good tea, really good tea!
Shubidubi doo, I got a book too.
Huulihulihoo lost my mind too!

Yeah, I should probably edit out that last bit, but it's an honest expression of how great it feels to get mail and also how crappy the tea is on the Essex.

I really respect people with high standards of personal hygiene.
Sure would be pleasant if there were more of them.

Ok, I get the Lotus sutra, and it is being preached even now. Svaha!

I am often surprised by how much reading time I do not have.

One month, ten days since I have been on land. I like land.

Hrmf... I want to go play now.

ハロ

After nearly two months, Zazen practice finally made it on to the plan of the day. And I did not get a copy. Boo.

Have not updated for a while.

Happy 19th anniversary USMC.
I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Too bad I can't support the family on a retirement check.

Hello sea turtle. Hope you don't get caught in the screws.

I am not keeping up with this so well.

Post liberty Zazen class, one other person in attendance. A few people apologized for missing it afterward.
I don't understand why.
It isn't about me.

Stayed up late to watch Star Treck on the ships tv. Tried to sleep in this morning but failed.

Well into the third month at sea. I have had four and a half days off.

Happy Birthday USMC. 235 years and still dead sexy.

Rumors of going home early are surfacing like dolphins. Rumors have the potential to subvert morale.

One other body at Zazen today.
Ships movement made Zazen shaky. At least more so than usual.

Brown lettuce has turned to no lettuce.

I am doing a community relations project in Hong Kong.
Painting an orphanage.

Sometimes I have to have a lot of restraint. Most of the time I do.
I see dumb people.

Woah' those are big waves!

Hong Kong: too many people, not enough toilets.

Float will be over soon, may as well send this up.

Typed out with my thumbs on my phone.

BOOK REVIEW: Zen Radicals, Rebels, and Reformers.

2010-10-12T05:34:00.000-07:00

I am breaking my ango silence to bring you a review!

Somehow I got on the cool guy list and received an advance readers copy of this book...

Ha! Like I'm an advanced reader or something!

Oh, not what they meant... OK.

The introduction to this book is really inspiring. I am partial to "Rebel Zen"tm anyway so that is no revelation. I did cringe a bit at a slight stink of secular poly ticks I caught in there though.

The first chapter is about Layman P'ang. I think it gives a good overview of the guys character. I read a good book with a lot of stories attributed to him that I would recommend to anyone interested in learning more about him.

Chapter two is about that old shit stick Rinzai, and gives a wonderful social/historical setting for his life and times. The record of Rinzai ought to be read over and over by any zen wanabe. But don’t think that if you go around calling people shit sticks that you are free, your just another zen poser with a contrived act.

Chapter three is about Bassui, and I am really grateful for this chapter because I had not read much of him in the past. But it turns out he was ordained in the lineage of Dogen, had a tendency towards being a hermit, and eschewed scriptures and pomp & circumstance of monastic life and favored Zazen... I think I would like to read this guys record.

Chapter four covers Ikkyu, I thought I had heard enough about Ikkyu, but this book devotes quite a few pages to the man. I can say after reviewing it I give him a 70-80%.

Chapter five, Bankei, Another old master who's works I have not been intimate with and after reading a bit about him I see why. It is a shame. Bankei's death poem may be one of the best ever. That said, a teacher like Bankei may not be what we need today, although they way I see it he already has plenty of imitators.

Chapter six, the demon Hakuin. I can't seem to write the guys name with out putting "The Demon" in front of it.

But since a good friend told me I had a bit of a demon nature, I suppose he is in good company. Still, I pretty much detest how his heirs have perverted the Koan tradition... Oh well.

Chapters seven and eight were about a couple of 20th century masters Nyogen Senzaki and Nakagowa Soen and the chapters were a bit anti climactic. But the epilogue might be pleasing to some.

My overall impression of this book is that it gives an informative historical overview of some of the greats of Zen... Be they radicals or not. I am not sure if I go along with the premise that they were radicals at all personally, but maybe that is just me. I think they were just these guys, you know...

The good news is that this book is well written and a pretty quick read.

Which for me provided a nice break between the Lotus Sutra and Baizhang's Monastic Instructions.

Go ahead and click the greed button... Or even better click on those links and buy some of those books.... Especialy the Bassui one, then send it to me...

Thanks.

ANGO AT SEA

2010-09-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

I am pre writing this as the next few days will be pure chaos as I get my stuff together for my second deployment aboard the USS Essex.

This post has been time delayed in order to satisfy my concerns for operational security and also because I won't have writing time for a while. Comment's are off now as I wont have access to any social networking sites, Forums, G-mail, or blogger, at least until I hit a port with free wifi.

If you absolutely must get a hold of me you can reach me by emailing me at: myfirstmame(dot)mylastname(at)essex(dot)usmc(dot)mil

You can also find the Thirty First MEU on Facebook if you want to follow the MEU's progress there....

A lot of times people have expressed an interest in sitting with me "In sprit" even though they are spatially separated. So in that spirit below I have included some instructions on how to create a similar sitting environment.

~ Simulating Shipboard Life at Home ~

When commencing this simulation, remember to lock yourself inside your house and board up all windows and doors with all friends and family outside. Communicate only with letters that your neighbor will hold up for four (or six) weeks before delivering, losing one out of every five. Have a bleary-eyed, overworked, disinterested slob yell "Mail Call!" at random intervals through one week of each month, only to tell you with a smirk, "You didn't get anything" nine out of ten times.

Surround yourself with people you would not choose to be with, roughly one person per squarre yard; those you do know, you don't like. Suggested choices are those who: chain smoke, fart loudly and often, snore like a steam locomotive on an uphill grade. Also, they must: complain incessantly, seldom shower and/or brush their teeth. Lastly, they must use expletives in speech like children use sugar on cereal. In-laws may do nicely.

Remove all radios and televisions to cut yourself off completely from the outside world but have a neighbor bring you last month's issues of Time, Newsweek, The Retired Officer, and Playboy (with all the photos cut out). On one lone monitor, located in the worst possible place, connect three channels. The first should play old TV shows that even a "normal" station won't play. The second channel plays eight movies a month, over and over and over. The last channel plays "Training" films on such engaging topics as: small engine repair, proper blender operation, paperwork routing procedures, etc. Each channel must randomly go off the air, preferably when there is finally something you wanted to watch.

Monitor all operating home appliances hourly, recording vital parameters (plugged in, light comes on as door is opened, etc.). If not in use, log as "SECURED." Make line drawing of all piping and electrical circuits.

Do not flush toilets for the first three days to simulate the smell of forty people using it. After that, flush and overflow once daily. At least every five days, post a sign stating "The Sewage System is Secured Until Further Notice." It is OK to forget to remove this sign. Shower water should be either hot or cold, when you have it at all. When you get all soaped up (soap on face or shampoo in hair), have neighbor turn off all water.

Wear only proper uniform attire or approved coveralls in designated areas (no special T-shirts or other clothing). Even though nobody cares, once a week, weather notwithstanding, clean and press one uniform (in the dark on a broken ironing board), go outside, and stand at attention for one half hour. After this, change back into coveralls (catch and rip the sleeve of your shirt on your way to change. Curse and yell, then wad it up and throw it back into your locker.)

Cut your hair weekly, making it shorter each time, until you are bald or you look as though you have tangled with a demented sheepshearer. Have on of your close quarters strangers tell you to get a haircut at least once a week, whether you need it or not.

Work in 18-hour cycles, sleeping only four hours at a time to ensure your body doesn't know or care it it's daytime or night. At random intervals, announce that you will either add or subtract an hour from the apparent time.

Listen to your favorite CD six time a day for two weeks., then play music that causes nausea until you are glad to get back to your "favorite" cassette.

Cut a single bed in half lengthwise, and enclose three sides. Add a roof that prevents you from sitting in any position (18" is a good height). Replace the mattress with a steel plate and cover it with three inches of foam to duplicate a shipboard bunk. Place a dead animal under your bed to simulate the smell of your cubemate's sheets. Each "bed" should be equipped with: two sheets (with unidentifiable stains) that are twice the size of the mattress, one very scratchy wool blanket that is half the size of the mattress, one pillow that smells like dead, wet fowl, and one pillowcase (again with the same stains) that is about half the size of the pillow. Whenever possible, have someone take your pillow or blanket to instill a sense of camaraderie that exists on all US Naval vessels.

Rig up an alarm system that will go off at random interval for the first and last hour of your four-hour sleep period. This will simulate the various alarms of watchstanders going off at odd times, drills, and routine noise from inconsiderate people. So you will not get accustomed to ignoring your alarm clock, this alarm system should alternately sound like a fire alarm, police whistle, music you hate, or a plane landing overhead. Place your bed on a rocking table to ensure that you're tossed from side to side for the remaining three hours.

Prepare all food while blindfolded, using all the spices that can be groped for (or none at all). Add salt. If the food (term used loosely) does not stick to an inverted plate when served cold, add more lard. Add more salt. If the food contains at least one part per thousand of fiber, dispose of it (unless it was mixed with a broom). Add more salt. Such food is traditionally eaten with eyes shut, nose plugged, and as fast as is humanly possible. Also a tradition, always take more than you can possibly eat. Beat your plate enthusiastically against the side of the trash can when disposing of your leftovers. Have week-old fruit and vegetables delivered to your garage between two and four in the morning by police helicopter, and wait two weeks before eating them.

Periodically have a neighbor shut off power at the main breaker and send a muscle-bound seventeen year old psychopath with a funny haircut and loaded rifle (simulated Marine) running through you house, repeatedly yelling at the top of his lungs "Get Down! Get Down!" If, at this point, you don't lie face down on the floor with your hands on top of your head fast enough, you will be beaten to a pulp while the psychopath screams "Don't Move!" This should last for at least twenty minutes.

Buy a gas mask, smear the seal with rancid animal fat, and scrub the faceplate with steel wool until you can't see out of it. Wear it for two hours every fifth day, even to the bathroom.

Have a neighbor prepare an emergency (i.e. burn down your house) that will require you to evacuate the premises, knowing that if you exit, a biker gang you hired (simulating sharks) will cut off your arms and legs. To ensure readiness for such a contingency, randomly start small fires and practice putting them out. Study an ancient first aid book to treat any wounds that may occur. If none occur, ask for volunteers.

Study the owners manual for all appliances in the dwelling. If you don't have a manual, have someone who knows nothing about the item write one. At regular intervals, take each one apart and put it back together again, then test operate it at the extreme limit of its tolerances.

Buy 50 cases of toilet paper and lock up all but two rolls. Give the key to a friend going on vacation to Tierra del Fuego. Ensure one of the two rolls is wet all the time.

Remove all plants, pictures, and decorations (except vulgar photographs). Paint all furnishings gray, white, or hospital green. Use a special "fading" paint that will require you to do it all again in three months. Stencil everything with numbers.

Smash your forehead or shins with a hammer every two days to simulate hitting the knee-knockers and overhead while walking through the passageways.

To ensure a clean and happy environment, sweep and dust twice daily. Every week clean the house from top to bottom. Work hard all day (even if it's only a three hour job) repeating your efforts as often as possible. When finished, have someone inspect your work, criticizing as much as possible.

Twice a day (or more if there is no need) get everyone together in as small a room as possible (a closet or bathroom should do) and have a meeting to listen to someone tell you what you did all day.

Since you have no doctor, stock up on as many antacids, aspirin, Band-Aids, Robitussin, and suppositories as possible. These have been proven (by Navy corpsmen) to cure any disease known to Mankind. For major injuries (broken bones, etc), use Band-Aids and Motrin.

To achieve the permanent, smelly, gray, dingy looks in your clothes, have a plumber connect the washer directly to the sewer lines. Additionally, throw clothing in a dark corner for a few days before drying.

Every three weeks or so, go outside directly to the city slums, wearing your best clothes. Enter the raunchiest bar you can find and order their expensive beer. Drink as many as you can pour down in four hours, then hire a cab to return you by the longest route he can find. Tip the driver even though he doubled your fare. Lock yourself back in your dwelling for three more weeks.

For the final touches, run a blender at a constant high speed the entire time to simulate the constant whine of the ship's machinery. Also, have the biker gang you hired bang on the plumbing to simulate men working on other floors at all hours of the day or night.

This simulation must run a minimum of 90 days to be effective. The exact date of the end of the simulation will be changed no fewer than seven times without your knowledge. This is done to keep you guessing as to when you can hope to resume a semi-normal life, and in the hopes that it will screw up any plans you might like to make. On the last day of the simulation, remove the boards from the windows and doors but do not go outside. Have your loved ones stand across the street while you stand at attention for four hours and look at them (this simulates having duty on the day you return)

(Note that I did not originate the above manual, and it does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the author of this blog or the U.S. Naval services... You can find many like them by searching the web for how to simulate Navy life at sea.

MOVIE REVIEW TIME...sort of.

2010-08-24T05:10:00.000-07:00

received a DVD in the mail.

I don't know who sent it, so thank you anonymous benefactor!

There was a lot of pretty visuals of all the things you would kind of expect to see about Zen type stuff in Japan. I have not seen anything like what I saw in the movie here in Okinawa, but I digress.

Other than the bountiful visual display, The movie featured Dogen Sanga's Venerable Gudo Nishijima, who of course talked about the autonomic nervous system, and that did not really grind my gears.

What did get me going were the Monks from the Soto Shu University talking about how they thought that the many people coming to Zazen for "Relaxation" was a great thing.

I understand coming to Zazen for "Relaxation" as Bonpu Zen, or basically the kind of meditation people practice for health and well being.

But as I think of it now, I guess that is OK too. Just not how I envision the sincere practitioner of the Buddha way to start from.

Who am I fooling... Yeah it still grinds my gears.

I just can't see someone coming to Zazen for "Relaxation" being willing to die on the cushion in pursuit of the truth. Sure, you can get all blissed out and peaceful on the zafu, heck it happens sometimes, but the Zazen I practice, while it may be the Dharma gate of ease and Joy, is not about some "state of relaxation."

So what is it about?

The ever unfolding activity of practice and enlightenment.

Or at least that is how it is for me right now as I type this at 1232 Japan standard time on Tuesday August 24th...

Role Models

2010-08-15T20:13:00.000-07:00

With the passing of Robert Aitken, the Zen Community has lost more than a venerable teacher.
It lost a living role model, and in that sense, he lives on.

Even though his writing style did not appeal to me so much, Robert Aitken struck me as a guy who would never be compelled to use weasel words to make excuses for his behavior. I have the impression that he was not deluded about good and bad, and endeavored to avoid doing bad in order to allow the many good things.

How many people today have the stones to be upright?

How many people can look directly at their shadow and not be afraid?

Heck, how many people today even have the courage to look at their shadow?

20 years ago when I was being interviewed by the Marine Recruiter, one of the "benefits" of being a Marine I chose was Courage, Poise, and Self Confidence. I never met Robert Aitken outside of his books, but I imagine he embodied those things pretty well.

Courage is not stupidity.

Poise is not posturing.

Self Confidence is not denial or delusion.

On this Zen path, I think it is important to look deeply into our own stupidity, posturing, and delusion.

High or low, we should question our sitting.

The second law of thermodynamics may get me down, but I'm determined to go up.

Exhale, smile.

Yours in practice,
Jordan

Samadhi

2010-08-09T21:53:00.001-07:00

Flash of Samadhi
Sound of the vending machine
A deafening roar

These days, although I only get the chance to sit full lotus mornings and evenings, I sit every moment I can create an opportunity. This usually happens to be on my office chair.
This afternoon during the lunch break I went deep; only to be startled out of it by my ears being filled (and I mean seemingly irrationally, and somewhat unexplainably filled) with the ordinary hum of the vending machine across the hall.
This was kind of a buzz kill.
I know that that probably comes off as an attachment to some mental state.
Maybe so.
But the development and cultivation of Samadhi seems important to me right now.
I kind of think it has been underrated in the popular Buddhish press lately.

Yours in practice,
Jordan

Shobogenzo-Zuimonki 5-18

2010-08-05T20:06:00.000-07:00

Testing out an e-mail post again, as blogger is blocked again and I ate lunch too quickly. Please forgive formatting issues.

Master Dogen Instructed:

"There is a proverb, "Unless you are deaf and dumb, you cannot become the head of a family."

In other words, if you do not listen to the slander of others and do not speak ill of others, you will succeed in your own work. Only a person like this is qualified to be the head of a family.

Although this is a worldly proverb, we must apply it to our way as monks. How do we practice the way without being disturbed by the slandering remarks of others, and without reacting to the resentment of others, or speaking of the right or wrong of others? Only those who thoroughly devote even their bones and marrow to the practice can do it."

Break, break: end quoted selection.

I'd like to add some wise commentary to this, but really I just think that this selection is a helpful thing to keep in mind. Don't worry about those trying to keep you down, just devote yourself to the practice and (the hard part for me) don't concern yourself about someone else's practice.

Yours in practice,
Jordan

Unemployment by County, 2007-2010

2010-08-03T14:47:00.000-07:00

Unemployment by County, 2007-2010

While I will have to go and survive off of a civilian econemy for the first time in my adult life in just a short time, I am aware that I'm doing OK right now, and unless I screw up really bad, I should be pretty marketable for future employment. But I am filled with sorrow for those suffering and watching the clip above reminded me of that sense of helplessness that so many must be experiencing right now. When things like this come up, I find my self asking "What can I do?"

This is what should be done

By one who is skilled in goodness,

And who knows the path of peace:

Let them be able and upright,

Straightforward and gentle in speech,

Humble and not conceited,

Contented and easily satisfied,

Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.

Peaceful and calm and wise and skillful,

Not proud or demanding in nature.

Let them not do the slightest thing

That the wise would later reprove.

Wishing: In gladness and in safety,

May all beings be at ease.

Whatever living beings there may be;

Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,

The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,

The seen and the unseen,

Those living near and far away,

Those born and to-be-born —

May all beings be at ease!

Let none deceive another,

Or despise any being in any state.

Let none through anger or ill-will

Wish harm upon another.

Even as a mother protects with her life

Her child, her only child,

So with a boundless heart

Should one cherish all living beings;

Radiating kindness over the entire world:

Spreading upwards to the skies,

And downwards to the depths;

Outwards and unbounded,

Freed from hatred and ill-will.

Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down

Free from drowsiness,

One should sustain this recollection.

This is said to be the sublime abiding.

By not holding to fixed views,

The pure-hearted one, having clarity of vision,

Being freed from all sense desires,

Is not born again into this world.

~ The Buddha

Teachers and students of today

2010-07-31T13:26:00.001-07:00

From The Record of Rinzai, as translated by Irmgard Schloegl:

'There are old bald-heads (I heard "shaved pates", derogatory term for teachers of zen, today there are many teachers of zen who can not even manage to keep their heads shaved.) who cannot tell true from false. They see gods and devils; they point to the east or indicate the west; they fancy lanterns or pillars, fine weather or are fond of rain; and so they carry on and on. One day they will have to face Yama (Judge of the Dead) to repay their debts and swallow red-hot iron balls, for men and women misled by the antics of such wild fox sprites, get entangled in their fables.
The Blind old fools are laughable! The day is sure to come when they will have to pay back the cost of their keep.

Followers of the Way, it is most important that you come to see clearly. Then you can go your way and confront the world, without letting yourselves be deceived by those delusive fox sprites. Nothing is more precious than to be a man who has nothing further to seek. Just do not give rise to any fancies, and be your ordinary selves.

The trouble is, you look to the outside, and, pursuing it hotly, you doubt whether you have hands and feet. Do not be deceived. If you only think of seeking Buddha, Buddha becomes a mere name. And the very one who runs to seek Buddha, do you know him? All the Buddhas and patriarchs in the Three Worlds and the ten directions have appeared only for the purpose of seeking the Dharma. And today's diligent Followers of the Way are also seeking the Dharma. Only when one has got it is there an end to it. As long as one has not got it, one transmigrates through the Five Paths.

(NOTE: the stuff in blue is not in the translation, but added as I remembered it from a Dharma discourse)

Nowadays a lot of emphasis is being given to the fact that teachers are only human, and make mistakes. And how those great ancestors don't make mistakes because they are dead now and had their foibles edited out. It is a wonder people who say things like this can grow eyebrows or beards at all. They have completely forgotten their humility.

How many true students of the way are on this ball of dirt?

How many teachers and students would just prefer to get lost in petty drama’s and intellectual pursuits and speculation?

Old Master Rinzai’s admonishment is pertinent today as it was 1200 some years ago. What he says is alive.

KAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Dignity

2010-07-21T20:34:00.001-07:00

This post is e-mailed in as the network I am using is not blogger friendly; please forgive resultant formatting issues…

Master Daikan Enō asked Master Nangaku Ejō, "Do you rely on practice and experience or not?" Master Nangaku said, "It is not that there is no practice and experience, but the state can never be tainted." Master Daikan Enō said, "Just this untaintedness" is that which the buddhas guard and desire. You are also like this. I am also like this. And the ancestral masters of India were also like this."

Master Dogen referenced this line from the first part of book two of the Shinji Shobogenzo in his discourse on Dignified Behavior, Chapter 23 of the Shobogenzo.

I have been considering dignified behavior recently and decided to give that chapter another read. What I type below is just what surfaced after reading it, to be clear, I haven't realy thought about addressing what Master Dogen wrote at all.

For the last 19 years or so I have had drilled into my brain housing unit some core values. They are Honor, Courage, and Commitment. So in my skull those ideas are what give form to dignified behavior.

But moment to moment if I were to spend time counting each grain of sand as it fell I would find that there has been failure after failure of living up to those ideas.

Conversely, there would also be success after success.

In the succession of these moments, who can count all of the failures and successes?

I think it is impossible.

What purpose does it serve?

I think none outside of mental masturbation.

And is that counting of grains of sand serving the Buddha Dharma?

I think not.

This week I have been striving to shorten my reach a bit.

From time to time I have noticed a tendency in myself to hold others to my own idealized standards.

But if and when I look deeply enough I can certainly find cracks in my own armor of mindfulness. Even in recent events, where I failed to stop at a stop sign that I had stopped at countless times previously.

A military policeman was kind enough to point out my error, I thanked him and I made a note to myself to take greater care in my actions.

I think it is important for me, who has a tendency to be an idealist (and who often thinks "I can do no wrong!")to take a look at my practice off of the cushion. Since how a person communicates is a large part of practice, I have been working on this at the house this week in my words with the wife and kids. Not so much thinking deeply about the words I am going to say or how I am going to say them, but more along the line of: is my intention motivated by greed or anger or confusion? Is my intention kindness, love, compassion like that which one might have for a small child? Is there any kind of "Wrong conceit (I'm better, I'm Worse, and I'm the same are examples of wrong conceit) in what I am communicating?" If the answer to these questions is no; then I think that is a good moment to stop, take a breath, exhale with a smile, and try again. How much more so when it is something I am typing out in correspondence?

Don't be deceived, I still get angry. I'm still "The Gunny" at work. But the lines are a little less cloudy at the office where the manors of speech and conduct are regulated by the uniform code of military justice. I think that there is something in place at most monasteries that governs this sort of conduct as well, but I don't have my copy of the Ehei Shigi on hand, so that is just speculation. So home and the keyboard, for me, is where the practice seems to come into play the most.

I would like to end with this excerpt from The Baizhang Zen Monastic Regulations

One must singularly manage one's mind to have cognizance of this experience (kenxin), and never be blind to it. Nevertheless, it is often the case that when the path is lofty, one's wayfaring is more likely to be even more intensely disturbed by devils in thousands of situations.

If once, however, you can manage to bring right mindfulness (zhengnian) into your present consciousness, no obstacle can disturb or delay anything, just as it is explained in the Śūraṃgama-sūtra, in the Tiantai Practice of Śamatha and Vipaśyanā (Tiantai zhiguanfamen) by Zhiyi (538–597), and in the Manual of Practice and Realization(Xiuzhengyi) by Guifeng (Zongmi, 780–841). If one analyzes devilish disturbance in detail, one becomes aware that everything arises from one's own mind and not from outside [of it]. When the power of samādhi andprajnā becomes superior, devilish obstruction disappears of its own accord.

If there is any merit in this post I would like to offer it to Buddha and Sangha, and all of those who may not be clear about dignified behavior.

Yours in practice,

Jordan

Who Me?

2010-07-21T02:31:00.000-07:00

So, I got this award thingy here from I guess the folks at Awarding the Web?

Online Schools

That is kind of nice of these folks to go to the trouble. If you read the backstory behind it all I think it is pretty noble.

So if you are reading this and took part in the selection process, thank you, I am honored.

The other award winners can be found here: www.onlineschools.org/top_buddhism

House Builder!

2010-07-17T01:01:00.000-07:00

There is a line in the Dhammapada that goes:

House builder, you are seen!
you will not build a house again!
All the rafters are broken, the ridgepole destroyed;
The mind, gone to the unconstructed,
has reached the end of craving!

It has been resonating with since I listened to it over and over again on my last deployment.

What I make of this is of course, related to how we like to build up our own little castles in our minds of how things are or how they should be. Quite a bit of cushion time could be devoted to this if I allow it to happen. The trick has been for me, catching myself in the act "House builder, you are seen!"

I dont know so much about you will not build a house again! Because I still do find myself building those castles again and again. I do however think I am getting just a little bit better at catching the act. And when I settle back into sitting, yes in that moment:

All the rafters are broken, the ridgepole destroyed;

The mind, gone to the unconstructed,

has reached the end of craving!

Well, at least until the next castle gets constructed. What this has been bleeding over to for me is meeting daily life as it is... on occasion.

Checking in 2010 July 14

2010-07-14T04:19:00.000-07:00

Quite a bit has been going on, and I have not made time to write about it.

So it goes.

I will be hosting Zazen on Saturday at my place on Camp Shields.

Same schedule as before, please let me know if you feel like showing up so I can listen for the doorbell.

Please feel welcome to attend.

Yours in practice,

Jordan

Really slow(internet)zen

2010-06-29T04:21:00.000-07:00

In case you are wondering why I have not been on the net for a while, above is the best connection speed I have seen from my ISP in over a week, and I find it painfully slow.

Bless the technicians who actually improved the situation from this:

Anyway, hopefully they can get the bandwidth opened up to at least half of the 54 megs they promise in the advertising. At this point I'd be pretty happy with mediocrity actually.

So it goes...

Fault Finding, Finding Ourselves

2010-06-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

A Zen friend I've been in and and out of correspondence with for the last five or so years made a comment in a recent e-mail similar to "I find it funny how you only contact me when you need something."

I found this hilarious myself. Because he is totally right. I come to him and his organization when I want something. What I am looking for is fellowship and camaraderie and peers, an opportunity to share my practice and experiences with others and in this particular case I am making efforts trying to expand that circle just a little bit wider, bringing the sangha jewel to those it has not been available to.

I also found it funny because the last time the above individual tried to contact me I was cut off from communication, deployed and in harms way, which I had posted notice of on the blog and the only contact I got from the zen friend mentioned above was one asking for me to post a link to his new digs on the internet.

It is funny how that mirror principal works. Those faults we find or characteristics we don't care for in others are so often just our very own.

I had a sort of falling out with this friend in the past over this very same thing. But I've gotten softer now.

I just smile, and hope that the lesson here serves as a reminder to my self and others to look closely at our aversions and find their root. Chances are that it is just you. Like a well looking back at a donkey our own reflection vex us.

Yours in practice,
風剣

Stupid Good Intentions

2010-05-31T14:56:00.000-07:00

The other day I went to the Kadena Base Exchange. (That's airdale talk for PX.)
From what I have heard it is the jewel of the pacific as far as exchanges go.

For me it is a nexus point of greed, anger, and delusion.... So normally I try to stay away from it, but it was the beginning of a long weekend, so of course the girls wanted to go drag daddy out shopping. Apparently those strange creatures think that sort of thing is fun.

Sooooooo~ anyway The Wife was looking at warpaint and I was tasked with looking for some mundane stuff (the stuff I'm OK with) when something caught the eye that started up the stupid factory that exists between my ears. It was a cat toy. Just a package of little pieces of plastic that literally look like something you would discard after removing from a milk container. I knew the cat would love that stuff because trash is the best toy ever. So my metta practice kicked on and with ninja like swiftness the trash was in the basket and whatever menial tasker I was assigned by the wife was promptly forgotten... Which winded up causing me to spend more time, and money, in the land of greed anger and delusion....

The shopping bags stayed in the car until last night. Then the cat toys came out... And I was spot on, the cat loves them. And he had a great time dispersing them about the house in a manor so quick he would make Chuck Norris have to do a double take.

0400 this morning, just a little before I get up anyway (except todays a day off) the cat is making an awful racket, a death curdling sound that would wrench even the most battle hardened veterans heart.

And he was making this sound from on top of my chest, while looking right down on me...

Ok, get up. check. Go downstairs. check. food check water check. litter box clean check.
The cat is looking at me like I am the dumbest guy on earth.

The toys, are all gone. Of course that dispersion of these trash like objects found them going under things like the stove, couch, other heavy furniture. The cat could not get to them, therefore he thinks it is my job to. Nope, I don't think so partner. you screwed that one up, your on your own.... Time for me to go sit some zazen... Robe, chant, bell bell bell, sway from side to side, breath out, think non thinking, MEROWWWWWWWWWWWW... MEROWWWWWWWWWWWW... Oh crap. MEROWWWWWWWWWWWW...That cat is in pain. MEROWWWWWWWWWWWW... I better go check it out. MEROWWWWWWWWWWWW... I know that sound. I had a sick cat that made that sound. MEROWWWWWWWWWWWW... Ok I'm up. MEROWWWWWWWWWWWW... Where is he? MEROWWWWWWWWWWWW... Downstairs, ok there you are. MEROWWWWWWWWWWWW... Ok I'll move the couch... Theres your toy. Try not to lose it again.

This is what I get for my good intentions. There is a lesson there, it is not: don't do nice things. It's more like when you do nice things be prepared for that deed to have unintended consequences, I got off easy this time.

A Short Story.

2010-05-30T15:16:00.000-07:00

A pratyeka buddha finished his term in hell today. It was a contract he had not wanted to get dragged into. He signed that contract under duress, but no lawyer could get him out of it.. I remember when I first saw him, he was nothing but a hungry ghost.

We saw a lot of hell together. Through our different eyes. He never really wanted anything but the fastest way out of the fight. But he used the Buddhas teaching skillfully and wisely, even if it was a bit selfishly...

Toward the end he started making the preparations though, leaving signs for others so that they might have some direction in the fight. I think he even thought of making a career out of saving sentient beings for a second.

I might see him again though. I think there is a part of him that might look down and see those still suffering in the hell realms and their calls might just be irresistible. It is hard to see suffering and not want to lend aid.

But it is also hard to face hell again. Especially knowing what your getting into, and then leaping into hell with a smile, well that takes a special kind of saint.

So cheers to my good friend. May you be well and happy.

And remember, If you ever feel like crusading through hell again, the door is alway open, and we can always use another general in the battle against Mara.

The Surangama Sutra

2010-05-29T03:39:00.000-07:00

I Just finished up reading the Surangama Sutra. Wow, what a ride!

I was initially turned off from this text because it had quite a bit of colorful expressions.

Not profanity, but just the very fantastic and in my mind at the time, unrealistic use of language.

It took me a while and I found myself kind of slogging through it as I tried to push past my own mental resistance to the style.

But then the rewards started coming! I was able to identify some of the fantastic descriptions in the book with my own states of mind and by the end I was humming along to the tune of the text.

I'd like to recommend this book to anyone who is interested in reading one of the foundational texts of Ch'an rendered into Chinese from Sanskrit around 700 AD.

It is quite a shift from most of the Zen texts I'm familiar with and also has quite a different flavor than what I have read from the Pali Cannon.

Yours in practice,
Jordan

Not That

2010-05-28T22:30:00.000-07:00

Not That

I have not been able to practice with the Shakuhachi much in quite some time.

This is something I really regret because I find it such a frustrating and rewarding practice.

Every time I say "I'm going to do this!" and try to make a commitment, it seems like something comes up and I am pulling an all nighter at work and I forget all about it.

But today, I found myself with the house to myself after my mini Zazenkai, so I jumped on the opportunity to embarrass myself my posting a clip.

Anyway, what is here is not a song, not Suizen, not music, not even practice. You will find though, if you listen carefully, the pug dogs snoring in accompaniment.

It seems to take a long time to upload a video via blogger.

I know my internet connection here is slow but....

Ah well.

So, we're on a four day weekend over here.

My plans are pretty much over with.

Yep. Got the extended wall staring done.

I wonder where the cat went off to?

Haven't seen him since this morning.

Sure is wet outside.

...

Found the cat.

...

Sigh...

...

Hmmm... There isn't even a status bar on this thing.

...

The weather forecast says the sun will be out on Tuesday.

Oh, it just changed, Monday.

....

Maybe I'll try to upload it via Youtube.

...

Oh, they have a status thingy...

50 minutes ...

I wonder which will upload faster?

Maybe I should shut one off ?

Nah... I like to watch the race..

...

Laundry...

...

Wow, The youtube upload is already at 50%!

...

The Brama Net Sutra says I shouldn't have a dog...

If I headed that one I would not have the joy of picking up poop.

...

Youtube is finishing the upload...

And Youtube wins!

Sometimes, often. (today's intention)

2010-05-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

Although we have accumulated much bad karma in the past, producing
causes and conditions that obstruct our practice of the way, may the
buddhas and ancestors who have attained the way take pity on us,
liberate us from our karmic entanglements, and remove obstructions to
our study of the way. May their merit fill up and hold sway over the
inexhaustible dharma realm, so that they share with us their
compassion. Buddhas and ancestors were once like this; in the future
we will be like them.

(from the Soto school daily Scriptures)

And Then There Were Two

2010-05-22T20:05:00.000-07:00

Saturday I was joined by an aspiring Bodhisatva. It is a great joy that I could share my time with a person who was earnestly seeking to learn about Zazen.

I also had my own share of fears before we met as well. My fear was of prejudgement, basing my opinions of of hearsay, holding on to (fundamentalist) views, my asura nature rising up and getting the better of me. I’m happy to say that it appears that I was able to overcome these fears and that thees hinderances did not negatively impact our encounter at all.

We sat Zazen as was scheduled and hung out watched a movie about Zazen and talked about Zazen for the better part of the day. I think a good time was had by all.

I can not ignore wondrous coincidence of meeting a true person face to face.

No Devil Dog, you can't do that.

2010-05-19T23:38:00.001-07:00

Got a phone call today from some sergeant, I did not catch his name.

“Gunny Fountain, your some kind of Zen Mediator right?

“Yes.”

……

Apparently they caught a Marine who was burning incense in his room.

This is against the Barracks’ order.

I was asked if the Marine had some kind of religious right to not follow the rules as he is converting to Buddhism.

Nope. Can't do that…

The first of the three universal precepts is to observe the rules of society.

In the Marine Corps we are maybe a micro society, but it’s still a society.

We have some unique rules in the military, and they are numerous at that, and heck no I don’t know all of them (heck I don’t even have the 16 Bodhisattva precepts I took memorized) and I have likely unknowingly broken a few and knowingly broken a few that I never got called on. However just because you want to claim Buddhism as your new found faith doesn’t give you permission to bend or break one of those rules on account of your new calling. Please come see me for further explanation.

I feel dumber now, for having typed this.

Update: I may meet a sincere person!

Hope and hopelessness & Hope and hopelessness

2010-05-14T20:23:00.000-07:00

When I got my orders to Okinawa I was initially thrilled at the idea of meeting up with a Sangha, one that would hopefully be more accessible than the one that I had been with down in Portland.

I had heard stories from veterans that they were introduced to Zazen in Okinawa.

Things change, and a quick google search, followed by some pretty intensive google searching revealed that there just isn't much in the way of Buddhism or Buddhist practice in Okinawa at all.

That is what gave me the "idea" of starting the Okinawa Zazen Group. After all, I have the fancy lobster bib, shave my head and took those vows that made me promise to save all sentient beings.

Since no one else appeared to be stepping up, I felt obliged to.

That, and the increasing popularity of Buddhism in the west, There being a pretty large number of westerners around here, and meeting three people who professed to be Buddhists "Too" in my own unit. It seemed like the thing to do.

Today, after kinhin, I was joined by the cat. Who decided to use me a a cushion despite there being several available. I sure did appreciate that.

I have asked the wife to ask google about Buddhist groups in Japanese.

I'm pretty hopeless about that turning anything up too.

The Schedule for next week's Saturday morning Zazen Group is as follows:

0930- Introduction and Instructions for sitting and Zen hall etiquette,
1000- Heart Sutra recitation
1005- Zazen
1030- Kinhin
1040- Zazen
1110- If you show up, we'll talk about practice. If you don't show up, I'll probably write another blog post.

You should know that even if all the buddhas in the ten directions, as numerous as the sands of the Ganges River, together engage the full power of their buddha wisdom, they could never reach the limit, or measure or comprehend the virtue, of one person's zazen.
~Dogen

Shakuhachi Informing Full Lotus

2010-05-13T16:59:00.000-07:00

The other day I had the pleasure of having dinner and playing with a fellow bamboo flute player, I had not been practicing the flute much lately and I was reminded about long tones.

Long tones are not exactly about a long breath and not exactly not about a long breath.

Excuse the double negative, maybe my editor will fix that as soon as I get one. Anyway this is certainly on of those things that I just can’t quite communicate over the internet I would have a hard time explaining even if we were face to face and I could show you directly.

Anyway the way he explained it was that the breath should come from the “Hara” which is a spot about four inches below the naval. Now I only passed basic biology with Ds in high school, but I know that the lungs don’t go down that far. Regardless of my scientific mind’s resistance, I found that going through the exercise of thinking about the breath coming from the “Hara” did indeed have an immediate impact on my long tones. No bad for a free lesson….

Now what does all that have to do with sitting full lotus?

Well… I have been sitting full lotus for a few years now, have had several teachers admire my posture and say that I’m doing it “Right” but my right foot constantly falls asleep about 25-27 minutes into Zazen. I got to thinking… Yeah thinking not non-thinking, about the effect of the breath on the flow of oxygen to by leg and adjusted my sitting ever so subtly in order to allow for an ever so slight freeing up of the “Hara.”

I did some long breathing then allowed the breath to regulate itself and noted that the monkey mind was pretty inactive, I have no idea if this trend will continue or not. I also “felt” ( a not that our feelings are always reliable) that I was leaning slightly backwards, but it may be that I was just habitually leaning forward instead, and the change just felt different. The end result was…. No more sleeping foot!!!

Anyway I know the internets and Zenistas often have flaps about “Proper posture” and weather or not it is important and it seems wherever there are views folks like to take those views into the extremes like you must sit with your chin tucked a certain way or it is not Zazen, to the other extreme of posture totally doesn’t matter.

Posture does matter. But at this time as far as I can tell the best way to figure out what right posture is by taking it up and studying it from various angles and experimentation.

I don’t think it is a cookie cutter process.

Appropriate Attire (Okinawa Zazen Group)

2010-05-09T21:23:00.001-07:00

In my time with Uncle Sam's Misguided Children, a lot of toodo has been made about appropriate attire. Over the years the times have change and so have the standards. I tend to stick to what I was brought up in the Corps with, but also understand that times have changed and things have gotten slightly more liberal. Quite a few people can get pretty uptight about these things and perhaps rightly so.

So I think it would be good to make a few suggestions about what to ware to the Okinawa Zazen Group meetings, so that in case you feel like showing up, you know what is expected.

Loose clothing is best. Don't where clothes that are too tight and could cut off your circulation. Dark colored solids are preferred, and nothing overly revealing that might disturb the senses. I keep the air conditioning running so be prepared for the room to be comparatively warmer or cooler than it is outside. The base controls the temperature and it is up to them weather I get hot air or cold air. Please make a note of it.

As for me, I will more than likely be in my pajamas or a samui. They are dark colored and loose fitting, and heck it is my house so that is where the standard is set.

Just prior to the chanting of the Heart Surta, I quietly recite the verse of the Kesa and put on my small Kesa, if you also have a similar tradition please feel free to follow it.

If you feel that your pajamas meet those prerequisites, you are free to show up in your pajamas as well, but if you plan on going to the PX, BX, Commissary, bowling ally, etc or out in town afterwards, please ensure you have brought along the appropriate civilian attire your service prescribes, I will be happy to provide a place for you to change.

The schedule for Next Saturday May 15th is as follows:

0930- Introduction and Instructions for sitting and Zen hall etiquette,
1000- Heart Sutra recitation
1005- Zazen
1030- Kinhin
1040- Zazen
1105-"Zen" Movie & Snacks/ discussion

*Times are approximate, the door is open until 0959*

Jordan

Okinawa Zazen Group (meeting notes)

2010-05-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

Attendees:

Jordan "風剣" Fountain

沢庵 (The Pug Dog)

Due to all the attendees being present early, a motion was forwarded to begin the sitting early , the motion passed with no objections.

Prior to the first sitting, the Heart Sutra was recited, two typos's were noted in the service book's transcript of the Heart Sutra.

The first sitting began at approximately 0940.

沢庵 did several reverse circumambulations and finally settled on the tatami in the middle of the room and promptly began snoring.

During Kinhin 沢庵 decided to rouse, and left the Zazen hall. It was discovered later that he had gone down stairs to take a dump.

沢庵 Returned for the second sitting, attempted to get onto my lap but decided it was too much trouble to try and locate a spot for himself as the full lotus posture does not seem to be comfortable for him. He did another round of notably noisy reverse circumambulations, perhaps scratching for a bit too, before once again settling into a good snore.

Afterwards gratitude was expressed for the Buddha ancestors and 沢庵 was thanked for joining me for today's sitting.

In reflection, I am grateful for having the opportunity to sit, and have an increased appreciation of how miraculous it is to not only develop the will to the truth, but to come together with those who are like minded.

I take refuge in the Buddha.

I take Refuge in the Dharma.

I take refuge in the Sangha.

Okinawa Saturday Morning Zazen group meetings will continue to be offered to any who are interested in joining, as long as I am here and able.

In veneration to all the Buddha ancestors, and all of those Bodhisattvas that I have met and have yet to meet, Jordan.

Eihei Dogen Links (updated)

2010-05-03T19:13:00.000-07:00

I have found the works of Eihei Dogen to be quite beneficial to my practice.

I thought it would be good to post some links up here where the subject matter often relates to his works in the hopes that folks interested in Zen might have a chance to enjoy them as I have. This list may not be all inclusive, as I discover new ones they might be posted. Just because I am linking them dose not mean I am endorsing them either. You have to be a grown up and decide for yourself what is true. If you feel there is a link that should be added to this list feel free to drop a comment. This dose not mean I will add it, but I might. If you feel like a link should be removed, feel free to drop a comment. This dose not mean I will remove it, but I might.

Yours in practice,
Jordan

http://bodhiarmour.blogspot.com/2010/04/quick-reference-for-shobogenzo.html

http://www.numatacenter.com/default.aspx?MPID=81

http://nothingbutthelifeblood.blogspot.com/

http://global.sotozen-net.or.jp/eng/index.html

http://www.stanford.edu/group/scbs/sztp3/translations/shobogenzo/index.html

www.shastaabbey.org/shobogenzo1.htm

www.zenki.com/AboutDogen.htm

www.uoregon.edu/~rwh/buddhism/dogen.html

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogen

www.gudoblog-e.blogspot.com

www.dogenandtheshobogenzo.blogspot.com

www.dogensangha.org

www.numenware.com/article/category/dogen

www.the-middle-way.blogspot.com

www.fukan-zazengi.blogspot.com

www.hardcorezen.blogspot.com

www.mindfullivingguide.blogspot.com

As Requested

2010-05-03T04:54:00.000-07:00

Please forgive the unoriginal post...

Everything read or heard is just a provisional teaching. Especially if it is coming from some unreliable source like me.

That said there are a lot of great provisional teachings out there.

I am grateful for the efforts Master Dogen and the folks who translated his works into English.

There is other great stuff out there, but when I need inspiration for my practice Dogen always does it for me.

Someone asked me "Do you know how to discover what true self is?"

I don't remember my answer. But it was likely something coy like:

"what is the true self?"

Thats kind of a lame answer now that I think about it. And I suppose I could have directed them to a chapter or a few of the Shobogenzo and told them "Look here!" But I don't know if that is really in the proper spirit of things either.

So, and this is likely not original at all either, My recommended instructions for discovering the true self are as follows:

Familiarise your body/mind with The Rules for Sitting Zen, then just allow everything that is not your true self to drop off.

This may take some time, and your results may differ.

All the best,

Jordan

CANCELATION

2010-04-28T20:15:00.001-07:00

Due to unforeseen circumstances, this Saturday’s Zazen group meeting is canceled.

The Schedule for next Saturday (May 8th, Wesak, Or Buddha’s birthday) will be:

0930- Instructions for sitting and Zen hall etiquette,

1000- Heart Sutra recitation

1005- Zazen

1030- Kinhin

1040- Zazen

1105- Movie- Either the PBS special “The Buddha, or “Zen” depending on if my Amazon order comes in.

Saturday Morning Zazen group (Okinawa, Chatan Cho, Camp Shields)

2010-04-17T03:41:00.000-07:00

Now On Facebook too!

The first member gets the best choice of Zafu!

Here is the schedule, this will be ongoing unless I am out on deployment, or until I get kicked out of housing, PCS, Etc...

0930- Instructions For Sitting Zen
1000- Heart Sutra Recitation
1005- Zazen
1030- Kinhin
1040- Zazen
1105- Tea, snacks, and Dharma discussion.

Once again you can let me know your interested in the comments section or just e-mail jrfountain (at) gmail(dot)com and we will work out the details. If you are arriving to this post a few months after the post date and I don't respond within a few days, its probably due to me being deployed, pleas be patient as I won't have access to the g-mail address unless there is a major shift in policy.

An invitation to Zazen on Okinawa (Camp Shields)

2010-04-10T17:20:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have it in the works to become a "Command Sponsored Lay Leader" but as these things do take time I thought I would put it out there that I do have some seating available if anyone else on this little island is interested in sitting zen.

You can let me know your interested in the comments section or just e-mail jrfountain (at) gmail(dot)com and we will work out the details. If you are arriving to this post a few months after the post date and I don't respond within a few days, its probably due to me being deployed, pleas be patient as I won't have access to the g-mail address unless there is a major shift in policy.

The Philippines

2010-03-18T20:20:00.000-07:00

The Philippines

Our last port visit prior to retrograding (pending contingency requirements) was the Subic Bay area. It used to be a U. S. Naval Base until we turned it over to the Philippine government in 1992.

I got off the ship and wandered around. Bore witness to the poverty and decay. I’ve seen it before though. This type of poverty doesn’t only exist in foreign countries but also in the States. The way I see it this type of situation is almost certainly rooted in greed.

Human beings hold themselves up to false standards, think they should have more, and then loose track of what is important. Then they loose everything. This might be most pronounced and easy to see with a gambler. Even when they win they have lost.

This post doesn’t want to be written. I’ll stop.

MY UNTAMED MIND

2010-03-15T22:39:00.000-07:00

I have over the course of this deployment found a way to get two to three daily sittings in. While they are often interrupted the part that bothered me today was the interruptions brought up by the small mind.

This afternoon’s sitting the Navy was conducting a damage controlee training environment. I caught the small mind going into aversion mode and angry with the bells and whistles and clanking around. I can’t help but think: after so many years of sitting I still allow my mind to get distracted by the myriad things. But it wasn’t distraction. It was just awareness. I don’t think that awareness in and of it self is bad at all. The small mind did not really take control at all. Mostly the small mind just squirmed a little bit. And than it felt compelled to write a commentary about it.

I looked up the definition of untamed. My dictionary says – in a natural state.

BLOGGER UNBLOCKED!

2010-03-13T20:57:00.000-08:00

BLOGGER UNBLOCKED!

How strange is that? I think it is a bit odd but that’s OK.
Sometimes I wake up and think everything is a bit odd. Even waking up!

But apparently the nerds that fix stuff need blogs to talk with other nerds who fix stuff, and they won the battle against the nerds who block stuff. G-mail is still blocked so I won’t get responses to this. And frankly I don’t have a whole lot of time to look either.

In recent news, I finished reading “When listening comes alive.” It was another one of those books that started reading like a sales pitch. For some reason I just don’t care for that approach. But I think it has some redeeming qualities if you’re interested in how our ears effect our learning process.

Below is what I typed out when there were operational lulls or I just felt the need to get something down. I think it is mostly boring stuff, but that probably describes most of this blog.

Gunny’s Log 20100205

First time I’ve had a chance to write in a while,
Be advised I won’t be able to respond to comments.

But I thought it would be good to capture some “Float Notes” while I had a chance to sit down.

1. It is good to be a Gunny.
(a) The chiefs mess, I can get a bite to eat, relax in the lounge, pretty much when ever I want.
(b) People come to get my laundry twice a week, people get out of my way in passageways.
(c) When I ask for something someone usually puts some effort into getting it.
(d) Head of the line privileges at the ship’s store.

2. It sucks to be a Gunny.
(a) Someone is always knocking on my door or calling. (This has pretty much stopped now that everyone is off the ship).
(b) Everybody needs something and it is always an emergency. (This has pretty much stopped now that everyone is off the ship).
(c) While putting out everyone else’s fires I’m expected to stand watch and also take care of my own job specific taskers.
(d) I count myself fortunate if I get more than four hours of sleep a night. (See “Acceleration Chamber” below)

3. Zazen.
(a) Making time for sitting quietly is a challenge.
(b) A half hour without interruption; nearly impossible.
(c) Sitting in rough sea conditions, interesting.
(d) Sitting with the legs crossed in full lotus, not so much.
(e) Sitting on a chair, yes, in small intervals, whenever I get a chance between dealing with the next crisis.

4. Misconceptions
(a) I was told I’d get a chance to relax once I got on ship, this has not happened. I didn’t really buy off on that anyway.
(b) I thought at this level I‘d get the help I need. Maybe I do but I don’t always get the help I want.

5. Stress
(a) I have been experiencing elevated stress levels since getting to this command.
(b) While I’m making progress at chipping away at the external stressors (not so much the internal ones caused by my own reptilian faults) it is a grueling process and I keep finding things that are not in line with the way they are supposed to be. Yeah, that sounds like a perfect example of Dhukka.
(c) It would be easier if I were not attached to things being correct, but in my job you kind of have to make sure things are correct because a lot of people arte depending on it.
(d) It would be easier if people weren’t depending on me. But then I wouldn’t have a job, couldn’t support my family, etc. Monastic life sounds pretty good.
(e) I went to the ships gym this morning. That seemed to provide some temporary relief.
(f) Lacking sleep, living in close quarters with 3000 other people all under considerable stress, yeah I got a cold. That’s not helping.

20100208

The Acceleration Chamber.

If you have never lived aboard a warship, you are not missing much. A monastery has more fluctuation in their daily routine than we do, this can make life pretty tedious as you may imagine. Add on to that the tedious nature of my job and throw on top of that the incredible heavy lode of tediousness I have at this particular command and you may see why zazen alone may not be enough to get me through the days.

So a couple of days a week I enter the acceleration chamber. Note these are days of the week when due to the rest of the world being off of work I can’t get much done anyway. But I break up my usual routine of about five hours of sleep and jump into the 7x2’ space I have all to myself and hibernate. This can be challenging due to all the bells and whistles and knocking and banging and other loud noises sleep normally gets interrupted with on the ship but it can be done. So how the acceleration chamber works is you just crawl in, lay down,. And when you get out it is 12 hours later. Now you don’t have to limit yourself to 12 hours though. Some of my shipmates don’t seem to have a job aboard ship and seem to stay in the acceleration chamber most of the time. Unfortunately I don’t have that luxury.

Anyway the scuttlebutt says their about to call general quarters, so I got to sign off and get down to the acceleration chamber for a quick hop through time and space until the Navy says its ok for us to heave out again.

20100211

On the last few pages of Taigen Daniel Leighton and Shohaku Okumura’s translation of the Eihei Shingi. I can’t vouch for the translation itself but I definitely enjoy reading Master Dogen. Down in the birthing I have a couple of more books, an approach to Zen, an older one from Old Kodo Sawaki’s Dharma heir whos name escapes me at this point, and when listening comes alive which was recommended by someone I’ve never met, but consider a friend. If I get through all that I still got the Shobogenzo electronically to fall back on, and I just ordered Red Pine’s translation of the Diamond Sutra from Amazon, which may not catch up to me until I get back to shore if Amazon ships it at all, which was a problem last time I ordered something from them.

In other news, The South China Sea has a lot of trash floating around in it.
The Navy is really particular about the dumping of trash. So it’s kind of weird to see so much garbage floating around in the middle of nowhere.

Oh well, time to get back in the acceleration chamber.

20100214

I saw a sandal floating in the ocean, I instantly thought of Bodhidharma.

There are no Buddhist services offered aboard the Essex. I am conflicted on weather I should step up to the plate. I’m not really trained to offer services. The best I might be able to do is talk a bit about my own experiences with Zazen. But I feel a little guilty none the less. The Navy has a number of sailors who are from Asian countries and there is some chance that they might appreciate some form of Buddhist services.
Than again they are more likely to be from the Pureland school, which I know nothing about. Still, it seems regrettable that they are not supported here.

20100215

Thailand, specifically Pattya Beach. Now I have seen it. I noticed such an interesting clash of wealth and poverty. I did not opt into any of the tours this trip due to financial concerns of my own, the house has not yet “Closed” and I am still due to make another payment next month. Chances are I will be on better footing next year and I think I would like to do a temple tour if it is made available to me next year.

20100217

What is it about the Shobogenzo that keeps drawing me back to it? I don’t know. The more I read it the more the words just seem like common sense, which is probably uncommon since most of the books seemed like jibberish to me the first time through. There are still parts that I read and just can’t quite discern yet though. I don’t have a hard copy of the Shobogenzo with me this time so I’ve ordered some more books (The Surangama Sutra, The Platform Sutra, The Vimalakirti Sutra) from Amazon but there is no telling when they will catch up to me. It might be nice to have a book to bring with me when I am sitting on “Watch.” My watch consists of watching the other watches, who mostly don’t need watching. So having a book on those occasions would be handy. Besides, I might enjoy the (Awkward?) conversations that come along when people ask me about the books. “Gunny, what’s that about? I don’t know.”

20100226

Singapore, Wow what a City/Country/Island! I have never seen so much materialism in such a tiny space. But I got to say I had an enjoyable port visit there. Even had a few minutes of free wifi before it got locked down… They say nothing in Singapore is free. I believe it. Although the exchange rate is pretty good it is off set by the high cost of goods. I did manage to get some souvenirs for the family though I did spend way too much money there. Although that might be ok because it may have been our last port call on this float due to the Philippine Government not wanting us to take liberty in Manila as they don’t want it appear like we are influencing their elections. Oh well.

FAREWELL OF THE MARINES FROM IRAQ

2010-01-21T17:17:00.001-08:00

FYI

UNCLASSIFIED

Please pass on,

SgtsMaj, MGySgts, CMDCMs, Marines and Sailors, Saturday, 23 January at 1100
will mark the end of the Marines in Iraq as an organization. II MEF (fwd)
will conduct a Transfer of Authority Ceremony with the First Armored
Division without a Relief in Place from any incoming unit. USF-W (formally
MNF-W) will merge with USD-C (formally MND-Baghdad) and will cease to exist.

After 6 years, over 850 Marines and Sailors killed in combat and another
8800 wounded we have completed our mission. At our peak, we had almost
26,000 Marines and Sailors on deck, close to 200 aircraft, over 380,000
pieces of ground equipment, and were averaging close to 2000 significant
events a month. We have added a whole new generation of Heros; and names
like Al Nasiriyah, Fallujah and Ramadi will be added to our History books.

Words can't begin to explain the magnitude of effort and sacrifice our
Marines and Sailors have gone through to help the Iraqi people. Each year
since the initial invasion, Marines and Sailors from all over the Corps have
been a part of the revolving I MEF (fwd) and II MEF (Fwd) Commands. Each
year has been different with its own sets of unique challenges and each
successive year, the incoming organization has built upon the successes of
the outgoing organization.

This year was no different, we didn't have anywhere near the level of
fighting that previous MEFs have done. However, we did conduct many
operations, maintained security, continue to professionalize the Iraqi
Security Forces, develop good governance and economics, assisted with the
continued establishment of the Rule of Law and oversaw the peaceful
transition of the provincial government. We also had one unique mission
that we can call our own. That was to finally bring the Marine Corps home.
Over the past year, we have simultaneously conducted the responsible
drawdown of 24,000 Personnel, over 34 COPs and FOBs, including Baharia,
Rawah, and TQ and sent six years worth of equipment out of theater.

For those of you who served with me this year, thank you. It was long and
difficult at times, with our own set of challenges, but we did it.
It has been an honor to serve with you.

For those of you who have left your boot prints over here at least once
during the last six years; thanks to you too. You set the stage for us to
finish the job. It has been costly, it has been challenging, it has taken a
while with quite a few dark days. But, in the end, it was worth it.

All Marines and Sailors, including those who remained stateside have
contributed to the overall success of the Marines and Sailors in Iraq and;
all of us have known someone who didn't make it back alive or has permanent
injuries. It is up to us to ensure that those who follow never forgot their
sacrifice or what we did here.

Collectively, we have added another illustrious chapter to the successful
story of our Marine Corps. One that all of us can be proud of.

Semper Fidelis,

K. Carpenter
Sergeant Major
United States Force - West, Iraq
(Previously Multi National Force - West) II Marine Expeditionary Force (Fwd)
21 January 2010

UNCLASSIFIED

TEMPO, ZAZEN, POOP

2010-01-09T12:00:00.000-08:00

tempo |ˈtempō|noun ( pl. -pos or -pi |-pē|)1 Music the speed at which a passage of music is or should be played.2 the rate or speed of motion or activity; pace : the tempo of life dictated by a heavy workload.
I am referring to the second line of the definition.
Thoughts of work are starting to seep into my morning sittings and even my dreams now.
I've got so much work on my plate right now it is hard to feel at ease.

Boo.
I suppose it is preferable than jpop thought loops though.
Not having any preferences might be preferable to that.
I tried sitting half lotus on a chair this morning. Meh.
I think that full lotus on a familiar zafu and zabuton are best. (for me)
But I won't see mine for a long time. They are still in transit and won't arrive here in Okinawa until February 12th. I get on a ship around the end of this month and wont come back for about three months or so.
Boo.
I've been using the air zafu and that is ok. I'm not sure how that will work out at sea though.
Sitting on the boat will be interesting. Its been about five years.Last time I was on a boat was around the time I found my interest in Buddhism renewed. Maybe this time I'll give it up... Ha!
I remember a bit of buddhisty writing that mentioned something called "The Floating World."I don't think it had much to do with going to sea. (Note, via Iron Grindstone: "The 'Floating World' was the refined-yet-racy culture of the geisha district outside Tokyo."
I think I'll go clean the cat's toilet now.

ZAZEN AT THE EAGLE LODGE

2010-01-04T13:54:00.000-08:00

Flat roofed building.

Built by them for us.

Not a home for either.

The wind howls through the balcony,

Sounding like ghosts from the childhood cartoons.

Cat sits nearby.

Smelling like the perfumed cat sand from his litter-box.

The wife reluctantly wakes up,

The construction of breakfast begins.

Im on my third or fourth cup of tea.

It is still green but after this many infusions the flavor isn't there.

Work is moving at rapid rate.

I'm not used to the tempo.

Mind is spinning, trying to grasp at a liquid situation.

I expected my Zazen to reflect by being crowded with thought clouds.

It wasn't. It has been strangely peaceful.

Passing clouds from 2009

2010-01-02T17:17:00.000-08:00

This is just a collection of some of my favorite tweets from 2009. Mostly unskilful Haiku but some other one liner type stuff/observations mixed in too. Enjoy and happy 2010!

Not feeling too "Zen."
Zafu, a pressure cooker.
This mornings sitting.

Moment by moment

Rough edges are worn away

This is my practice.

Not better or worse.
I need a bath to wash off.
The stink of my zen.

Grasping at grasping at the ineffable. What a mess this floating world.

Solitude, not here
I ride the samsaric surf
How to end this verse?

Ears attacked by sounds

My twisted karmic rewards

Peace interrupted.

A quiet day, my shakuhachi calls me to play. It's been so long, I can't play a song and robuki took my breath away.

Third infusion. Is it taste or memory of taste? No, just diffrent.

This morning's tea, astringent, pleasant, and gone. Brew another pot?

Morning smiles from Iko: "I know you love to Zazen with Buddha Daddy."

The journy of a bodisatva allways begins with pain.

Time flies when you don't know what your doing.

Sitting quietly, doing nothing, autum comes, and the leaves wither and fall.

Wall heater clicks off/ Once submerged sounds bubble up// Peaceful solitude gone.

Putting down one book/ Picking up another one// Autum cools my feet.

Not sure how much I appreciate a comentary on comentarys. Maybe I'll write a comentary about that.

Rainy fall morning. The girls still snug in warm beds. Read Dogen, drink tea.

Iris: Oh my god! Me: who's your god? Iris: nobody.

Grasping at nothing, my current non-endevor, autum sky tearing.

Longing to do less. preoccupies my thinking. But that's still doing.

Our enemies may be our truest friends, & our friends our worst enemies.

Sanghas may need disruption to perform their function. Like a rock tumbler.

This mornigs sitting was filled with too much intention. Gosh I want a doo over. Ugh. Oh well.

The state that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools. - Thucydides

Installing service/ Pack: three of three. Do not turn// Off your computer.

Plastic potted plants/ Never are born, live or die// Unlike delusions.

Sent of patchouli/ Alighting the sence organs// Like an autum fire.

Letting go of yesterdays endgaining and prepairing for today's means whereby.

I make a habbit of examining the mouths of gift horses.

Zazen is not a cure for the days frustrations.

Outlook is frozen/ Restarting once again, click/ Running start up scripts.

Outlook froze again/ Makes it tough to get work done/ Sunday my desk

Ah the coffee crash/ The hot caffeine hangover/ I'd like one more cup.

Paperwork piles up/ Like the leaves falling from trees/ New season new work.

So the oldest daughter asks: is Zazen your toy? I say yes.

Home from the market/ Refrigerator now stuffed/ Outside a bird chirps.

There are more dharma gates than the sum of kannon's eyes and hands. Why concern yourself with what others are practicing? Mind your way!

No smell and no taste/ Kannon sama where are you/ A thousand hand slap.

Oh my few attachments. I love you so. You hold me back and push me forward.

Hello anger. I am aware of the events that caused you to arise. Now why don't you piss off allready.

Apparently I give good funeral. Not a skill I ever thought I'd collect.

Lunch outside, reading/ "Did Dogen Go To China?"// A cool spring breeze///

Unskilful rant at wife/ Enjoying the quiet now/ Plumb blossoms falling///

Skilled appology / Wife smileing gleefully now // Oh cherry blossoms ///

Watching Hannah at her third Karate class. I should have put her in Kung Fu. She has allready mastered the funky chicken style.

Someone actually arrived at my blog by searching "Kaaaaaaaaa!"

REVOLUTION 2010!

2009-12-31T12:22:00.000-08:00

Well another 365 and 1/4 day cycle around the sun has been completed. Just like it gets completed each and every moment. It is 0530 here as I begin to type out this post and there is still a bit of a clamor of revelry going on down stairs from me. The sounds conjure up a nostalgic smile as I recall the days when I too once partied like a rock star.

The fifth year of sobriety?

The seventh year of attempting to figure out what exactly Dhyāna is.

The beginning of another tour that has me asking who has the answers? (Me!) What the heck is going on here? (Ignorance, Formation, Consciousness, Identity, Sensations, Contact, Perception, Desire, Attachment, Becoming, Birth, Death) When am I going to figure out how to conduct business here? (When I say how I'm to conduct business here.) Where do I stand? (I'd rather sit.) How does this work? (Pretty much how I say it does.) Why didn't the last guy do it differently? (Because he didn't.)

This year I am a total beginner. From the perspective of a zennist, this is not such a bad thing. From the prospective of a professional who is depended on to be the "go too guy" in a critical area, this is a bit intimidating.

But it isn't really that bad. I have gone through this process before and know what needs to be done. It is not too hard to identify what is working and what is not and than effect changes to make things work more efficiently. I'm quite effective at it actually. I just wish everyone was.

As far as I can tell so far, there are no practicing Buddhists on Okinawa. I hope that is a gross misrepresentation of reality. When I first got my orders here I knew there were no temples for foreigners here but I was holding on to some hope that there would be some kind of practice community that I could connect with, even if it were from a different lineage that would have been OK. Mostly what I was looking for was a quiet place to sit, and maybe some new dharma friends.

It has crossed my mind to become a "lay leader" (yes, I'm ordained and so the term lay leader seems a bit off, but the military doesn't recognize that ordination unless you have a Masters degree.) of sorts and provide support to other seekers, but frankly due to the operational tempo and rapid turnover of this unit and it's subordinate elements I don't think that is going to be an option. Right now my own sitting has been providing me with quite enough grist for the mill and I'm not sure how helpful I could be if someone asked for advise on theirs.

But then again, when I think about it, I seem to have a complete lack of existential issues at the moment... That's weird. And I wonder if it might be useful to someone.

Sencha tea, once brewed, will oxidize quickly and the taste will change rapidly from a fresh cup to one that is a bit stale.

Checking in

2009-12-22T01:27:00.000-08:00

Checking in ia a process you go through every time you change from command to command.

Its a meet and greet process, along with getting rosters up to date and gear issued.

I met the Chaplin today, he had no idea about any kind of support for Buddhist practice.

He brought me to a coworker who happened to have a Japanese wife who told me the only time they go to the temple is for new years. And that he doesn't have any idea what the denomination is.

Other than that the process has been pretty smooth so far. Tomorrow I have a new-comers orientation then we're off for the weekend and I hope to finish checking in on Monday. This leaves me two days to do turnover with he guy I'm replacing. From what I am gathering so far, I would need about two months just to get a grasp of what goes on here. The good news is he is staying on the island so I will have some reach-back capability to ask for pointers when I get stuck.

Crossing my fingers that I will be able to get out status of forces agreement drivers license after the class tomorrow. Being cooped up in the hotel for the weekend is not what the family needs right now.

I think Im going to sit for a bit while the wife is out visiting a new friend with the kids and I have the place to my self.

Hello from Okinawa!

2009-12-18T15:25:00.000-08:00

For those not following on twitter or facebook, we made it on time and safely and uneventfully.

The dog and cat are safe int he base kennel until we get aboard base housing.

The body is seriously confused about what time it thinks it is and what time it is relatively.

I find this a bit unpleasant.

The MEU has a wonderful sponsorship program for new-joins and the family is being really well taken care of.

Later today he is running the family about to pick up groceries and set up cell phone connections.

I have been advised to jailbreak my iphone now that I'm not under contract with AT&T due to our traveling from location to location and the ease of "just popping in a local sim card." I am a bit concerned about this and am not sure if I want to go through with that. If anyone has any advise on this I'd like to hear it.

As of now it sounds like we will get aboard base housing much faster than I originally thought.

While I am not expecting anything it was pleasant news as the wife misses the animals and they are quarantined to base and cant join us where we are staying.

I figured out how to share an ethernet connection via airport on my mac, I have no idea how I did that. Some times determination and just playing around pays off. But that effort saved me the trouble and cash of picking up another wireless router.

I had no idea how much yen coinage we had left over from the last time we were in Japan. Lots of pennies and nickels, but also quite a few ¥100 pieces too!

Time to blow up the air zafu.

Last night in the USA (for a few whiles)

2009-12-15T23:06:00.000-08:00

This is my last night in the states for (presumably) a while.

The plan for tomorrow is to take a quick hop to Seattle and after a long layover, The family (including the dog and cat)and I will be on our (about 13 hour) way to Okinawa.

The stress level is high, and I have been grasping at the way I think things should be (getting my advance travel pay on time, my household goods shipment not being nightmarish, the pet health certificat process not being a pain in the @$$ etc) and feeling strong aversion to the way things really are which is FUBAR.

I'm not exactly sure when I will be able to get a chance to post anything, maybe from the airport in Seattle if they offer free wifi.

My oldest daughter Will have her birth day in flight! And when we land it will be the day after her birthday. Got to love that international date line eh?

Anyhow I'll update those who want to know of my whereabouts when I can OPSEC considered and all that.

Thanks to all for your support and friendship.

iSamsara

2009-12-11T03:08:00.000-08:00

Well, I signed up for Kyle's "iSangha" site. I am not one for message boards, I prefer to stand up on a soap box in my own special soapbox designated area.

But the term iSangha got the gears turning a bit.

See to me, the hipster "i" designator is all about individuality, independence, etc.

That sounds cool eh?

But a sangha and indeed buddhist practice in my view is not really into those things.

More like just the opposite; like this doctrine of "No Self," and "Interdependence" come to mind.

So, maybe a proper meeting place for the net savvy hipster buddhist would be called iSamsara.

Before we forget what that whole sangha thing was about.

a community devoted to suffering, and the end of suffering.

Or stress and the end of stress.

Samsara, is what that little "i" designator seems to be all about.

A case in point might be my iPhone. Such a handy little device. Get my mail and surf the web from virtually anywhere. On the 17th my service will terminate because I am going overseas.

Just the thought of being without my iPhone functioning, my link to simple fast and convenient communication in multiple mediums in my pocket, well, that's another of many of the facets of samsara I'm dealing with at the moment.

Today I will try and resolve an issue that may have kept my pets traveling with my family overseas. this has caused a bunch of stress for all involved. My household goods get picked up on Tuesday, I might see them all again in a month or two, or they might fall off the side of a ship.

OK, your problems might not necessarily seem like my problems, but thats what makes it iSamsara!

But the root is the same. Attachment or clinging. Maybe you have attachment to the way things were, the way things are, or the way you think they should be, doesn't matter to much. its still iSamsara until one recognizes that just about everyone is stuck on that wheal and the more "i" you have (or the more powerful that "i" is) the stickier that wheal is and the more difficult it is to find true freedom.

I write all this, because "i" am just another "i"ndependant "i"ndividual, not so sure I'm interested in yet another internet community for "iBuddhists" even as I rushed to be the first one to sign up.

I am always looking for sangha. but not so sure how much more "i" I can take.

More on Gratitude

2009-12-05T04:57:00.000-08:00

I was remarking to someone how hard it can be to really appreciate the gratitude of others. Particularly when we have some idea of how we would like ourselves to be and we find ourselves falling short, or just not "It" whatever "It" is.

But really I think that just gracefully, and gratefully accepting that which is given freely is a benefit to those giving it as well. It can be hard to do. When we have all thees ideas in our head of how were not worthy!

But chances are that if your thinking like that, you are just holding on to some idea that is not going to help you benefit your benefactors one bit.

So do the right thing by them. Placing your hands together and bowing deeply at the waist might be appropriate. Along wit a sincere smile.

I don't know (and don't particularly care) all of the science around it. I'm not particularly concerned about why it works.

But it seems to work pretty well.